Packs Of War

CHAPTER 43: DESPERATE PROPOSAL

LEILA'S POV

And yet again, I was laying on his bed late at night, waiting for him to come back from his works.

He's been busy trying to locate the female lycan. At some point I had been able to convince him not to wage war against my pack. That it would be catastrophic for his pack too, and everyone he loved.

Yes, the whole pack now knew that the scars form Nat’s body were from a female lycan. Me.

And eversince that revelation, he’s been determined to locate the female lycan privately, to take his vengeance, something that felt so familiar. I had tried to take vengeance on him for his father’s mistake for killing my parents and it wasn't even him, good enough.

Bad enough, it was me, who killed his sister. And he was trying to locate me.

Good enough…again, no one knew the female lycan’s alibi. No one had ever known, because she’d been here all along, in his pack, under his roof and on his bed.

I curled up and tightened the duvet on me.

At first, Nick had not kept heed that Nat was not back and it was approaching to midnight. She hadn’t linked him and he couldn’t feel her. I was shaking and could barely keep calm in his touch all the while. Every time he touched me, he felt like her.

A hunter had found her body in the woods and brought it to the mansion. Dana was the first to see her. Her cries. I remember how her cries made my head go on a dangerous roller-coaster of nightmares.

And when he did.

He had screamed. He had screamed every glass in to pieces, every window in to white dust.

It was terrifying. Seeing him like that, that day he found Nat’s body, it was terrifying. I didn’t know what terrified me the most, the fact that I was the one who killed Nat or that Nick would never feel the same way once he found out.

I was there. I was there when he mourned the whole night for Natalia. And I mourned with him. I mourned because I knew I was a hypocrite and I was there soothing him from my sins. I mourned because he cried to me and I comforted him. I mourned because he told me that he would not want to lose anyone else in his life, he didn’t want to lose me.

And I wretched my guts every day and every time anything entered my mouth, because I felt disgusted with myself. I was a liar, a traitor and worse…a murderer. I didn’t deserve even a bit of love he showed me.

It hadn’t been the same ever since Nat’s death. It had been two months now and I hadn’t seen Dana anywhere near the mansion. Some omegas had told me that she hadn’t left her room.

That she was still mourning her daughter.

Her funeral had been discreet but everyone knew the princess of the Dark Crescent Park was murdered. Every moment, I expected her to get up or walk in through the front door and pretend our fight never happened. I would have given anything to take back that day but I still wouldn’t know how to calm her down.

I didn’t even know how to comfort Nick. It was torturing to pretend, knowing full well that I killed her.

But Nickolas. Nickolas had been distant.

I barely saw him during the day and at night…well, at least he came to bed when dawn was almost rising. I felt his warmth. But as fast as I felt it, it left, early with him.

And I had no reason to complain. No reason what so ever to demand he look at me, or even touch me. Because I was the one to blame for all this and I deserved it.

As a matter of fact, it wouldn't be long until he found out who I was.

I knew Nick. He could be dedicated in to something until he got it. And right now, he was dedicated, determined, to find me.