Acomaf -Rhys Pov

Pt3 -

" What the hell happened to you?" The words tore from my lips before I'd even finished winnowing us to night court. I felt devastated seeing her so thin... how I had failed my mate... how could I have let her lose the will to live... but then I knew ... I knew she saw me as a monster... when the true monster held her heart no matter how much it was killing her... I had utterly failed her .

" Eat breakfast with me." I palled if she said no I would hit my knees and beg her...just to eat, just to keep living . She twisted her pants , making me shutter at how loose they were.

" don't you have better things to do ?" She asked . Better than you my dearest Ferye I thought ... better than loving you... better than fixing this...
" Of course I do," I said trying one last attempt to light that fire.
" I sometimes have so many things to deal with that I'm sometimes tempted to unleash my powers across the world and just wipe the board clean" ... thinking starting with Tamlin of course ... she didn't even recoil from the mention of how vast my powers were and that barely a thread was keeping them leashed right now. " just to buy me some damn peace of mind " I thought of how Tamlin talked down to her this morning and gave something of myself to her. I bowed to her. Deeply and true. " but I'll always make time for you ." For you I would offer my heart, my soul, my crown... anything ... could she see what I was laying at her feet... if anyone in my inner circle saw this moment they would shutter. She simply motioned towards the direction of the dining room. My knees wobbled as she followed behind me.

I pushed her throughout the meal and most of that day ... I tried to Will her to save herself ... but I pushed too far ... I may not fully be the monster I was but I know she's too broken to let me in enough to save her ...I know I'm too close to the edge to control myself .... I forced myself all through my lonely dinner to think... I tried to think like Cassian who always seemed to know when to push and when to pull back... I shifted though all the stored pieces of her mind I knew ... the sentries ... she had set off Tamlin Anger telling him she was drowning being watched night and day never getting a moment to herself ...

"The house is yours, Send word if you need me."

Nothing...

Time passed.

Nothing....

Time passed slower than I ever could have thought possible...

Time passed.

The twins had been updating me every day. I wasn't really away, the house was big enough that I could disappear within it and she never knew I was here. I wanted to talk to her . But I found myself watching her .

She was reading , almost done with a book... a full book not just words or phrases... she was sitting in a shaft of buttery sunlight, the gleam caught the strands of her hair, starting to show a flicker of shine. Her clothes fit better, she was still far too thin, this week had not improved her body as much as her last visit... even fae healing took time and it was ...not enough... I couldn't give her enough...what would happen in another month. I knew what I should do , I knew what Mor wanted me to do.... I could not follow the path that was right and release her from the bargain, nor could I damn her with me. One more ... I promised myself ... one more month ... I'd try one more month. I snapped my magic and two dinner plates appeared. I carried them to her.

"Tell me what to do, tell me what will help you." I could feel my powers ebbing out into the room, I could sense my wings coming from the shadows, I was utterly unbound before this woman... I was standing before her with no mask, hand outstretched with everything I am, everything in my court, my lands, everything if she would just tell me... trust me enough to let me kindle that ember of life left into the flame it should be.

Nothing ... nothing.

" months and months and you're still a ghost.... Does no one there ask you what the hell is happening." My throat was raw, the words dry and scraping .

Still nothing ...

"Does your high lord simply not care" I couldn't force my tongue to say Tamlin, to say his name made him less of a beast.

" He's giving me space to sort it out," she said.

Fuck... my mind stilled to a forced stop.... Cauldron damn me. He was ignoring her issues... he was willing to let her fade into nothing... he'd let her fade till there was nothing before he offered anything of himself to help her up...

"Let me help you... we went through enough under the mountain " she flichend but I pressed on " she wins, that Bitch wins if you let yourself... fall apart." I was falling apart... with my own words. She looked at me and I think she saw I was a mess too.

"Conversation over" she blasted down the bond... I got too close, she saw behind the mask and she finally flinched. What frightened her I don't know... but I lost my temper. She shown her powers... at least some of them... maybe she had more. I can since my darkness , at least I think I can. I can't be sure with the bond, and bargain unless I see more... ice and flame ... maybe it wasn't just grief killing her ... Damnit Tamlin... rat bastard. He has been condescending her, telling her to heal in peace... suppressing her power could be the root of her pain... insanity... I knew it well ... I'd shattered enough siphons in my youth to uniquely understand the cost of having that much magic in your veins. Armen I needed armen.

The next morning I winnowed just outside the manor, Tamlin waited for us in the shade of a large tree. Tamlin sneered at me with hatred... I let the coldest night shape my face. He braked at Ferye " get inside." The woman he wanted to marry ,claimed to love, had been gone for a week and he ordered her away before anything else... I seethed as I sized him up. But now was not the time. "Fight it " I said to Ferye, pure command in my voice. And winnowed directly to Armens' apartment .

" What are you doing here at this ungodly hour Boy?" She barked from her bed in the corner.

" Is it possible to teach someone to use their magic without doing magic?" I asked .

"Knock knock" she said,

"What?" I was confused.

" we're telling jokes and riddles right... you're supposed to say who's there?" She said, raising her brow at me.

"Armen, Ferye has powers, elemental gifts from her making, she had fire and ice... even some of my night... maybe others." I spilled it to her.

" teach her how to use them then, what was that nonsense about doing Magic without doing magic. ". She said flatly.

" She's too afraid of the magic , but not using it is eating at her as much as the grief. I wanted to know if there was a way to help her use her magic without her knowing she's using magic to help her . " I collapsed into the armchair beside me.

" What do you care that Tamlins bride is consumed by guilt and her powers? Let her be Tamlins problem boy." She said as she opened the door to her apartment . " Now if you don't mind, I'm going back to sleep ."

"She's my mate" I squeaked out. Arman slammed her door and turned her silver eyes at me. Stunned ... I didn't know she could be stunned; merely surprised is only something I've seen a few times in the centuries.

"Caldron, boy. Why do you keep bringing her back to Tamlin? She belongs here. " she said, still standing by the door.

"She loves him... Armen... and I love her too much to shackle her to me." I said putting my head into my hands.

" your 100x the male Tamlin is. " she said and walked over to a large book, opening it before both of us.