Acomaf -Rhys Pov

Training and the inn

We had trained all day yesterday and I had answered all her questions. It felt like everything from our fight was normal. I told her of the rite. I told her of Tamlin and my history. Her anger had burned though the forest. At first I thought it had been at what I had done... but she forgave me fully for my brutality . Just as she always had no shimmer of fear at my powers. We shared  simple a dinner together. Cassian had cooked. Mor, could not cook if her life depended on it, sadly I wasn't a lot better.

I was almost asleep when Cassian came into the room.  He sank into the bed beside me.

" Why haven't you told her how you feel?" He said softly.  I tried to pretend I was sleeping.

"Rhys... you're happy again... you were happier than I've ever seen you on starfall and it had nothing to do with not having had starfall under the mountain. It's her... It's been her for a long time. I know your not asleep but if you want to pretend that's fine.

" I want it to be her choice." I said gruffly.

"No, you think you will end up like your father and mother. But that could never be. We all see how much you love her."  He said and rolled towards the wall.

I spent most of the night thinking. Cassian was right in many ways I was fearful of becoming like my father. Not really like my father. I love Ferye, I never really saw love between my parents. Respect, acceptance, care... but not love. Mates are regarded as a bond beyond all others, but many times mates were not in love. I wanted love above all else. That's what I was holding on to. I wanted Ferye to love me. Bond or not... I wanted her love. I finally accepted what was keeping my heart at bay. What was keeping me from telling her. It wasn't that I was her mate, it was that I was waiting on her heart.

I took her deep in the steppes to practice after her display yesterday.  Cassian reminded me that the inn deep in the steppes would give us a chance to be farther away from everyone . He suggested that he thought maybe someplace new, someplace that I could just be us, and not the war, not training, not something that's familiar to me or her might get her to open up. He said he sent word to the innkeeper to give us his best room for the night, between his wink and wicked grin I could only imagine what he planned.

" don't worry it's a rowdy inn, it's not a romantic hideaway , but it's far enough away you can drop all your masks enough to see what might happen with none of us busybody's around. It's safe due to its remote location. maybe you just need to get out of your head for once. " he said as he trudged out the door to the training rings.

I flew into some of the remotest areas of the mountains. I spied a rapid stream and touched us down away from it in a clearing but Ferye wanted space ... she was still fearful of her tenuous control of her powers.  Which she was far more in control than she gave herself credit for given how short of time she's had them it was truly remarkable.  I settled myself near the base of a large tree and thought about what Cassian had said . I had not gotten far into my inner monologue when I felt a flicker of fear in the bond ... more startled than fear I thought so maybe she slipped on the icy snow pack.  But then her words ... prey flushed down the bond and Lucian ... pulled from my thoughts I smelled them faintly, dimmed by the rain but Lucian was here with others though I didn't scent  tamlin though.

Fuck... I thought and went into the bond. I felt her say no and was now close enough to hear her tell Lucian that rose hall was not her home. She had told me once that valaris was not her home. So I felt uncontrollable relief that she had voiced as much. It didn't guarantee she was home with me but home was extremely important to her. She told the bone carver home was what she felt in the abyss that brought her back ... not me or tamlin... oh how I wished just once she would claim any part of night court her home , but hearing that she no longer felt that connection to rose hall made me elated beyond measure.