Part of the Plan

7.

Excuse the typos.

Before

Zeoria

For the past couple of weeks, I had been staying with Michelle. Everything was so at ease here. I didn't have to worry about Lisa's constant bitching. I didn't have to always worry about what was going to happen the next day. I didn't have to be an adult for once in my life. I could be a teenager and enjoy life more. However, the constant reminder of what happened to me and the baby growing inside of me plagued my mind. I couldn't escape what happened for long.

Not to mention, Canary and I weren't on the best of terms. I couldn't help but feel her blaming me for Dequaris being locked up and for not telling her I was pregnant. When we were near each other, the tension was defintely high. I could almost hear the venomous words threatening to escape Canary's mouth. I knew that at any moments the tension would become so high that it would erupt like a volcano, along with it the venomous words would erupt around the room.

To try and ease the tension that filled the house, Chris decided to take me to a local ice cream shop a few minutes from the house. Even though Chris insisted that we drive, I told him I wanted to walk.

I don't know what had gotten into me. I don't know why in the hell I wanted to torment myself by walking past the same place where.. the incident happened. Just thinking about what happened made a shiver go down my spine.

"You ready Ze?" Chris asked.

I nodded and followed him out the door. We made little conversation as we walked towards the ice cream shop. Chris would ask a few questions just to break the high tension for just a little while. He would often times throw his arms around my shoulders whenever he sensed that maybe the walk was too much for me.

"Ze, we can always turn around.. I know how hard this may be-." He insisted.

"No, it's alright." I reassured him.

But it was far from alright. I felt like a mad girl forcing myself to relive that day.. the day that changed my life forever. We had finally made it to the site where it had all unfolded. By now, no traces of my blood was left on the pavement.. but boy, did I remember the pain that radiated through me as Khayman tackled me from behind and forced me to the ground. I touched the pavement so delicately, almost as if my life depended on it. I closed my eyes and relived it. Chris stood by eyeing me, not making a sound. I relived every single moment of what had unfolded and I shook violently at what was happening. I knew I wasn't ready for this. "Zeoria you're so fucking stupid. Why would you put yourself theiugh this? You knew you weren't ready. You'll never be ready. This will always hunt you."

I relived how Khaymans heavy body was on top of mines and how he had his way with my body. No consent, no nothing. He took my innocence like it was his to begin with. He had his way with a piece of soul. He hurt me.

"You deserved this Zeoria. You deserved what happened to you." The thoughts in my head overtook everything else. I started to scream.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" I screamed to the very top of my lungs. I grabbed my fist and started punching my head trying to push those intruding thoughts out. They had no place here! I was trying to get better and here they were telling me all the things I was running from. I felt gentle hands grab me and begin to carry me away. My eyes were still closed.. and I still felt Khayman's presence. I just laid my head against Chris and allowed myself to cry.

After a while, I could sense that my heaviness was becoming to much for Chris so I walked the rest of the way to the ice cream shop. He opened the door for me and we walked inside.