Part of the Plan

2.

Excuse any errors. 💙

Jackson, Mississippi

Tuesday

Zeoria

I viewed myself in my mirror. I looked like I had woke up in a trash can. My eyes were bloodshot red and my hair was a hot ass mess. I hadn't gotten any sleep after having the dream. Considering I had worst nightmares before and still went to sleep, it shocked me that I couldn't fall back to sleep after. "Get it together ZeZe." I said to myself. I splashed a little water on my face and went to the kitchen.

I fixed myself a steaming hot cup of coffee. "Hmmm... bitter just like me." I said referring to how bitter the coffee was. I never added sweetener.. I loved it bitter. I sipped on my coffee looking all around the dark room. I could see the silhouette of my couch in the distance. Most people would turn a light on while they're roaming around at this time of morning but not me. It was dark, peaceful, and quiet. It was just right.

When you're alone as much as I am, you become your new friend. I'm all I have and all I will ever need. I rely on myself and myself only just so I can save myself the heartbreak. I don't have time for people with no real intentions.

After my coffee was gone, I sat on the couch and watched tv. "Damn hoe... how the fuck you didn't know you was pregnant ? I swear TLC has some of the weirdest shows. Couldn't be me." After watching a few shows, I became bored. What was I going to do all day? No dance practice, no friends, and no groceries. Pathetic.

I yawned and stretched while rising from the spot on the sofa. "Shit." I said as a few of my bones cracked and popped. I threw on my coat and grabbed my keys. I decided I would take a morning drive through the city.

The sun was rising and the city was rather quiet. I mostly drove on the back roads and explored things that I didn't see before. Before returning home, I decided to stop at the nearby Starbucks and get some more coffee. The line was longer than usual. I usually didn't have the patience to wait, because I had coffee at home. For some reason, I decided to wait. When it was my turn to order, I ordered a regular coffee with no sweetener added to it. It was just something about that bitter coffee that warmed my insides. I sat at the table by the window and sipped on my coffee. I watched as the traffic passed by. It was around 9:00 A.M now.

"Hey Ze." I heard someone say. I looked up to see my cousin Maya. She looked worst then I did. It looked as if she hadn't gotten rest for weeks. Her hair was ruffled up and the skin around her eyes just was black. Her lips were chapped and her skin was dehydrated. Damn.. I guess the saying was true. Someone always had it worst than you do.

"Hey MyMy." I said not really knowing what to say. "Whatcha doing here."

"I seen you as I was passing by the store. I just wanted to stop by and say hi."

I knew that was a lie. Maya never stopped by just to say "hi". She needed or wanted to something. If she seen me and didn't want anything she would've walked passed me like I was a ghost.

"You know I hate it when people beat around the bush. What is it that you need? You need some money or sum? You need to spend the night? Where's Heaven?"

Maya rolled her eyes. "Heaven is at grandma Lisa's house."

I rolled my eyes at hearing that name. I cut all those people off a long time ago... more like they cut me off. It was painful that she even brought her up knowing the history that we have.