𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 ➳ 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞

05 | step two

Step Two - find the right guy.

I haven't found the right guy yet, I don't think there is anymore left on this planet. I sigh shakily, this is gonna be a hard step.

But if I want to move on, I'd take anyone.

That's when it hits me, Sodapop.

I grab my winter boots and coat. I scramble through my pockets for my keys, I pull them form my pocket and it shines like diamonds.

I race through the door and all the way to my car-or my brothers. I haven't driven in awhile, usually Steve would drive me everywhere.

I turned the car on and back out of the driveway, if I really needed help from someone-it'd be Sodapop. My one true friend.

The house comes into view, lifting my spirits. I've never been so happy to see their house as much as I had been at that moment.

I know Soda has had a crush on me since day one, and I had taken advantage of that. Maybe now I could give him a chance.

I slam their door open to see Ponyboy resting his head on the wall, a book on his lap. He'll be fifteen in a few months, and he feels that he's 'becoming a man'.

"Hey Pony." I say, sitting on the couch next to him.

"Deirdre? Where've you been?" He sat up quickly, his book slamming down onto the floor.

"Home, what about you?" I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"You're funny." He mocks, spitting his tongue out at me.

"Where's Soda?" I ask finally.

"In his room." Pony answers.

"Thanks." I say as I stand. Pony watches me leave down the hallway.

I let out a breath I hadn't noticed I had been holding and twist the doorknob.

He looks up quickly, then basically races towards me. "I missed you so much." He says into my shoulder, sounding muffled.

"I missed you too." I say, then let go of him and stare into his eyes for a second. He stares right back at me, the moment was exquisite and for moment I thought I really did feel something for Sodapop Curtis.

I leaned in unexpectedly, letting our lips crash together. That was it, nothing would ever be the same again after this.

I would never go back to being his best friend, it's be awkward. I'd never be the same with Steve, none of us would be the same.

Just like Two-Bit when Dally and Johnny died, he's different and will never be the same, no matter how hard any of us tries.

I let our lips depart, I started to regret what I had done. I just played with his heart.

He was smiling for ear to ear. "That's all I've ever wanted you to do." He grinned.

I smiled awkwardly. "Me too."

I guess step two wasn't as hard as it seemed it would be. I shrugged the thought of hurting him off, I would've ended up with him whether I liked it or not.

But he didn't make me as happy as Steve once did.

Soda

I've never been felt so euphoric in my life, not until our lips met and the sparks shot over our heads.

It's all I've ever wanted her to do, and I even admitted it to her. I didn't care how embarrassing it really was, I've never felt so ecstatic in my life. Not since I had met Sandy.

She was quiet for a long time, I didn't know what she was doing. Maybe rethinking everything she had just done. Does she even love me like I love her?

"You don't love me." I speak out, hanging my head.

"Huh?" She looks at me with wide eyes.

"You're just trying to get over Steve." I shrug. "You want to move on from him."

"I-I guess." She says shakily, my heart drops at this. I knew it was too good to be true. I felt the tears threaten my eyes.

"I understand." I sigh.

"You do?!" She asks.

"Yes."

"Thank you for understanding." She hugs me, I didn't feel the hope I had felt a minute ago, now all I wanted to do was lay in the middle of a highway.

"No problem." I smile sadly, the tears pouring down my cheeks. "I have to get going."

"Bye Soda." She waves, I don't look back at her.

All I've ever wanted was for her to love me.

Steve

She hates me, I love her too much to hate her.

I don't even know why I ended things at all, I love her like I've never loved anyone else. But why did I have to end things?

No matter how many times I'd hook up with Heather, it wasn't enough to forget about Deirdre, she was one of a kind.

She had smiling eyes that never failed to make your insides do summersaults. Her wavy, long hair sent chills down my spine.

I just wanted to be hers again.