Burning Side Of The Cigarette

Chapter two: confrontation

Molly's perspective:

-And I just stormed out...

-So you haven't seen him since?

-No. And, uh, I made him feel used, Joe.

He gave me the look of pity. Obviously he felt sorry hearing all this but I couldn't understand who he felt sorry for. I was feeling so bad. I have been staying with Gia for a week now. I really didn't want to talk about this to anybody else but her, but Joe was just so supportive and comforting throughout this whole time at school so I decided to tell him all about it. I just wanted to make things right and I needed a male opinion.

-Is he upset too, I haven't seen him at school either?

I asked. I hoped Joe would tell me that he was devastated. I wanted to hear that he was feeling as sorry as me. Joe wasn't the best friend of Eddie's but they were playing in the same band so if somebody would hear about him, It would be Joe.

-No. He hasn't left his trailer yet.

-Ever?

-No.

I couldn't believe it. I just thought that he was avoiding me. I wouldn't think that he just isolated himself from everyone. That didn't seem right. I was imagining him going out with his bandmates, drinking, making music. Staying at home all alone made me worried. 

-I think I should be the first to apologize don't you think?

-I mean yeah, Eddie is not the type to solve anything, he loves to run away though.

I laughed. For the first time in a week I guess. Joe was trying to make me feel better in his own ways. He cared about me. He was a good friend.

-Thank you, Joe. That talk really helped.

-Anytime.

-Can you walk me to his place? I don't want to go alone.

He nodded his head as "yes". I got up but couldn't stand still. I felt dizzy. My eyes went all dark and I started shaking a little. He held my hand and waited for me to feel better. I almost fell down if it wasn't for him.

-How often do you use?

-I really don't wanna talk about it.

And we just started walking. He didn't insist like Eddie did. He was respectful about my decisions and I appreciated it.

Once we arrived at his place, I saw Kate leave his trailer. He waved at her and immediately closed the door. He didn't see us. I felt like such a fool for thinking that he was as upset as me. It seemed like he was enjoying his time without me. I wanted to change my mind but I was missing him. I was feeling empty without him. I just hoped he would say sorry and try to make things right. So I told Joe to wait outside and I walked to the door. I banged it softly 3 times. I was so nervous and it felt so strange to me. He used to be the only person I would feel safe and free around but now I was just anxious. I heard his footsteps get closer. He half opened the door without even asking who was there. He was in his same long-sleeved shirt and I was wearing the same thing as well. His shirt. He seemed like he hadn't been sleeping for 7 days straight. It was obvious that I surprised him by showing up there. The minute I saw him, I wanted to throw myself on him. I just wanted to hug him, kiss him, play with his hair. And it was clear that he was as tense as me.

-Why are you here?

He asked without letting me in.

-Can I get in, I came to talk?

He moved to the side and I walked through the door. The place was messed up. Just like the first time I moved in. Pizza boxes everywhere, laundry not done, empty beer cans all over the place.