Burning Side Of The Cigarette

Chapter six: Fucked Up

Eddie's perspective:

It's been almost 5 minutes since I arrived at the ladies room. I've been waiting outside the door and didn't see her come out. Considering that she arrived before me, I had every reason to start worrying. I banged on the door a couple times and nobody answered. I was about to leave so I yelled her name to make sure she wasn't in there. I turned around and took a step but heard her voice shouting "Eddie" at the last minute. Her voice sounded dreamy, almost like she had just woken up. I got confused and reached back to the door.

-You okay in there?

I asked. I couldn't put a meaning to her behavior. Was she on her period or something?

-Yeah, I'm coming, hold on.

I couldn't quite understand why her voice felt like she was whispering. Maybe it was the echo of the bathroom. I heard doors opening and closing from inside and footsteps getting closer. She opened the door and got out. She looked so relaxed. Almost like she was sleep-walking. Her hair was messed up and her pupils were extanded like crazy. She looked so tired to me.

-You sure everything is alright?

I asked. I didn't know why but I felt the need to check inside the ladies room. I opened the door a little and sneaked my head inside. There wasn't anyone left in there. I turned back to her and she seemed like she was having a hard time standing up. She was moving side to side. I reached her and stood in front of her.

-What took you so long, Molly?

I asked calmly. I didn't know what I was suspecting while asking that question. But she tilted her head up and looked at me deep in the eyes. She was zoned out she couldn't even respond. She kept looking at me meaninglessly in the eyes and finally got a couple words out of her mouth;

-Relax, dude, I wasn't cheating on you.

-Dude?

I couldn't put meaning to her words. I started to get mad. I was ready to shake her from her shoulders but all of a sudden she lost her balance, her eyes slid backward, her eyelids closed and she tried to lean on the wall behind her. She was about to fall down. I jumped in and got under her arms. Held her tightly but she couldn't keep herself up. It was like she lost all the control over her body. I slid down leaning on the wall and with her in my arms. Sat down and put her head on my chest.

-Babe, I'ts okay. What happened?

I was afraid she would pass out so I kept playing with her hair to keep her awake. I got so worried. There was something on my mind that I wished wouldn't be true. I got filled up with stress and anxiety, I didn't know what to do. What was wrong with her? I held her head and started patting her cheeks. Her eyes were red as hell. That's when I realized what was going on. All of a sudden I felt this feeling deep down in my body, that dizzy feeling when you don't know what to do. I moved my hands to her pockets and she immediately grabbed my arm and lifted her head up to look at me. She was almost crying. Her eyes started tearing up. She was shaking. I was shaking. But I was so mad, so disappointed. I was suffering from the feeling of cheating on her while she was keeping secrets from me. I was so happy when things went back to normal but I guess even 2 weeks was too much for us. I pulled my arm fastly from her and the moment I did that she tried to get up but I held her down on my lap. Sneaked my hand into her pocket and took out the little bag full of drugs. I shook the bag on her face. She couldn't look at them and I couldn't look at her. I wanted to scream, to shout. But it felt like there was a knife on my throat. And I was swallowing it deeper second by second. I got up, left her laying on the floor. She almost banged her head on the wall behind us when I got up from under her. There were tears in her eyes. I couldn't say a word. I didn't know what to say. Just stood there with a bag of drugs in my hand, in front of her laying on the dirty floor one doze away from passing out.