Reverse Omens (Good Omens reverse au)

PT. 3 "No dog. Wrong boy."

(Ezrafell POV)

Raphael and I were watching over the antichrist Adam as he grew up, disguised as his gardener and Nanny. Being a gardener isn't that hard just have to cut some bushes and water some plants. I didn't exactly understand why I had to be a gardener when Raphael's the one who likes plants but you know I got to see him in a dress everyday. The day is the boys eleventh birthday and me and my angel were both getting prepared to stop armaggeon. I'm was going to be a simple caterer and Raphael insisted on entertaining wth some simple trick of the eye. I think it's his worst idea ever because he sucks at magic but it's damn adorable when he does it.

The children that Adam invited all sat on the ground in front of a small stage. I watched Raphael walk up to the stage and start preforming terrible magic. All of the children were completely unamused. "This magic sucks!" The brat of an antichrist yelled. Adam then grabbed a handful of cake and threw it at Raphael and all the other kids started doing the same Raphael quickly got off stage and speedwalked to his bentley. I followed right after him to get out of that mad house. I hopped into the bentley after him and he looked over at me.

"So when is the hellhound gonna get here?" "It's supposed to be here right n-" I was cut off by Cassiel's voice coming from the bentley. "Has it arrived yet?" I panicked and immediately said "Oh yeah it's uh great and here. One hundred percent here. Thats quite the helly hellhound." I was trying to be convincing but I really wasn't. "Only the best for our lord." Cassiel paused. "Well then make sure the boy names it then report back to hell. I'll be waiting with your weaponry." Cassiel then left and me and Raphael both sighed.

"No dog." Raphael solemnely said. "No dog." I repeated with the same tone. He looked over at me but I kept looking straight. "Wrong boy." he said. I repeated after him "Wrong boy." I was pissed that this entire fucking time we were confusing some random child. Little thing's gonna need a lot of therapy. But I didn't care about that. All I cared about was where the real antichrist was. "So if he isn't here then where is he?!" I yelled. "Calm yourself. We will find him hopefully before he names the dog." Aziraphale started up the car and drove away from the house and towards my bookshop. The bookshop was dark and gloomy with spiderwebs in the corners of rooms that Raphael had keeps telling me to clean but it looks cool. We walked in and I immediately let my body drop onto the large couch face first.

~This is so much fun to write soon I'll be doing one shots with these two and also the normal angel and demon, maybe even them meeting?~