Chapter 18

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As she walked into her room, she felt freedom for the first time in a long while. And even if she knew there was still Sam to think about, she didn't feel like it was something huge keeping her from having fun. She felt free.

While she was unpacking, music out loud singing and dancing like she used to always do,

And I know that I can survive

I'll walk through fire to save my life

And I want it, I want my life so bad

I'm doing everything I can

And at that moment she felt it, she did change. If her from three years ago went through the same things she's now going through she would be at home falling apart isolating herself from everyone. So yes she changed! She became stronger, more independent and more confident. And young Rose was still there, just kept inside.

Her moment didn't last long, someone knocked on her door. It was Olivia, which in some ways relieved her, "So! How have you been?" "A bit tired but everything seems to be getting better!" "Good to hear! And you and Sam, what did you decide to do?" "How did you know about us?" Rose was surprised to hear her asking about it, she never really talked about it to anyone yet, "I'm a mother I can feel these things, plus I've known you both for all of your lives, I can tell when there is something!" "Fair enough! I asked him if I can have sometime for myself, I don't want to get into any kind of relationship before I figure out what I want,' Rose felt free or maybe comfortable enough to talk about it with Olivia even if in first place she didn't want to, 'honestly, I don't even know if I'm staying in Paris after graduation so I'm scared to have everything happening the same way it happened to me before, with Marley since the start I knew at some point I will be leaving him, but Sam, he is probably the only person that I can't picture my life without, I lost him once, don't want it again! But believe me I do know that I want to be with him, I'm just trying to protect him and myself!" Olivia seemed relieved, now she was sure her son had chosen the right one.

Before Olivia left the room, she told Rose to join them at the pool. Rose had never refused to go swim even if she didn't have that much time she managed to do it, and especially when she was on vacation.

Rose wasn't the type to stay on her deckchair reading her book and tanning, she loved staying in the water. She used to have deep conversations with Sam in his house pool. And there he was waiting for her to join him.

Once on the water, a part of her wanted to cuddle Sam, seeing him without a shirt on reminded her of how hot he can be, with his little stomach which he hates and feels insecure about, but she loved it, whenever she hugged him, it made her feel safe, and cozy. Sam couldn't take his eyes off her, she was stunning with her black bikini revealing a very beautiful neckline and her curves, which Sam found different. She lost weight! A lot of weight! He always loved her curves and now they are smaller! How did she lose weight when she is the last person to want it! he did say anything at first, it was the place or time to. He was waiting for his family to go away so he could talk to her.

"Rose! Are you on any kind of diet?" Her facial expressions changed quickly, "Euh, no! Why?" "I don't mean this in any shameful or disrespectful way! But I can clearly see how skinnier you got, and I know you well enough, so I am a bit worried! Are you starving yourself again?" She felt her mouth opening widely but she shut it quickly. When Sam became cold, everything became harder since she didn't have someone to rely on,she was on her own, and that's when she started to struggle the most with food. No one seemed to care whether she ate or not and when she actually started losing weight everyone was pleased or sort of happy for her. She never understood why, they all knew how much she loved her body the way it was and losing weight wasn't in her plans, she thought they would be worried but no one did. At that moment she missed Sam more than ever, she knew without him she didn't have an equilibrium and she realized, after all no one knew her better then him not even Marley.

"I've struggled a bit back when I was with Stan, things can get hard and I just don't feel like eating, which now that I'm saying it out loud and from your facial expressions, it doesn't seem to be okay!" She explained everything to him, she told about what she went through and how hard it was. Sam was shocked how no one saw it, how could Stan let her be like that, how didn't Marley say anything, he searched for words but he couldn't find any that seemed to be right, so instead, he hugged her so tight, she could barely breathe. In her mind it was all "Sam loves me!" She kissed him on the cheeks and she could feel herself blushing. She loves him, she knew it, it was him, she felt like she was blinded and she could see the sun, the moon, the stars all in his eyes.

He is the one for her and she is the one for him.

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