xxii. stupid old love

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what did you know about love at the
age of twelve other than what you
saw on film? your parents played
and laughed together and still ended
up going their separate ways. sickly
boy, you look malnourished; your
grandmother could only love one
child at a time. cowardly boy you
let your feelings hide. not because
of your spoiled gender, but because
you've been taught to smile instead
of cry. no one wants to be around a
problem child. stupid boy blind to
lies. it's not love to be desired. it's not
love if they grow tired. it's not love if
you're afraid all the time. what is love?
what is love? you beg suckling on
mother's teat. love is battle soft and petal
scarred. love can be plucked from trees
near the algerian sea. what is love
at twelve? what is love at twenty-three?
love is rebirth, can't you see?
read more closely. love is death.
of the old you. of the old me.

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