solby

ten

i couldn't sleep all night, i'm too anxious about my flight to see sam. ive been rewatching the first explore videos we ever did, i miss it those times.

sam doesn't know i'm coming, i don't know how he's gonna react when i show up or what i'm going to say.

this sounds like a great plan

my flight lands in an hour, i've been fidgeting and spiralling the whole time.
—

when the plane lands i call an uber and it drops me off at sam's house

i walk up to the front porch trying to get the courage to knock on the door but as i pace back and forth i knock over one of the plants

"fuck fuck fuck... shit" i pick it up and try to shove the spilled dirt back into the pot

"colby? what the fuck..." sam sighs

"hey...sam" i smile awkwardly

"come in, it's freezing and you're shivering" he opens the door wider as i get off the ground and walk in after him

"what are you doing here, colby?" he asks as we sit in his old living room

"bringing you back home, i hope"

"this is my home"

"no, sam this was your home, but you don't belong in kansas and you know that, your home is in L.A with me." i reason

"colby.."

"what sam? i know things are off lately but you can't just run away! we've been best friends for so long and i'm not gonna let you fuck it up by abandoning me by going back to the boring shitty town we were so desperate to get out of" i argue

this isn't how i planned on spilling everything i was feeling

"i'm not abandoning you! i said i needed time and that's still true, i haven't figured anything out that i need to, i don't even know why you're here!"

"i'm here because i care about you you idiot!" i groan "i know you need to figure your shit out but you don't need to be here to do that! you need to be in california with me and your friends!"

i hate this. i hate fighting. this isn't why i came here.

"i'm sorry, i don't want to argue with you. i just miss you. we haven't been apart for this long.. ever"

"i know, i just know what to do, things are weird and it's all my fault, i ruined this friendship and i'll never forgive myself for it" he sniffles as he speaks

is sam crying?

"you haven't ruined anything, i just need you to talk to me, you can always talk to me no matter what. i know you're probably confused which is understandable but it's not fair to me when you cut me off like this. i don't care if you say you just wanna be friends or you regret kissing me, i just need you back home in our house" i start to tear up at the thought of losing him

"i don't regret it, that's the problem colby. why don't i regret it?" sam whispers as he runs his hands through his hair

"you don't regret kissing me?"

"no, and it's freaking me the fuck out dude! we've been friends forever and now we're kissing eachother? what does that mean?"

"it means whatever you want it to mean, i don't wanna pressure you into anything, if you want us to go back to how we were before any of this then that's what we'll do, but if you want something else then talk to me.."

please want to be with me

please

"i don't know, this whole thing is weird! i feel weird! ive only ever liked girls why do i suddenly like you, my best friend?"

"hold on did you just say you like me?"

"of course i like you colby why else would i have kissed you? i spent the night in your bed and we made out the whole time, i'm just confused, what does that mean for us? for me? i don't even know what i am now, my whole perspective has changed" he stands up and moves to couch that i'm sitting on and he faces me

"look" i hesitantly take his hand in mine before speaking again "that's not something you need to figure out right now, it takes a while to figure it out sometimes and it's hard, but i'll be here for you, and so will all your friends"

"thank you, you coming here is exactly what i needed. you're right, it's not my home anymore, especially without you and jake. as for us, i just need time to think about everything, i hope you're okay with that" he gently squeezes my hand and smiles "whens our flight back?"

"back?" then i realise "you're going back home with me?" he nods

"tomorrow, 4pm"

sam stands up with his arms out to hug me

"you and me dude, no matter what"

(authors note: a longer chapter for y'all as promised! comment, vote & follow if you like the story! i have some other stories on my profile, check them out!)