People don't arrive broken. They start with passion and yearning till something comes along that disabuses them of those notions. Some people stay broken. Some pick up the pieces and put them back together with all the sharp edges showing.
Every gre...
"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries. Avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-- safe, dark, motionless, airless-- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell." -- C.S. Lewis: "The Four Loves"
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Three weeks. Arthur had been unresponsive in every way for three weeks straight. But it was the previous ten months that were weighing far heavier. The fact that he had deployed multiple times in the past did add a fraction of comfort for the sheriff. Though his worries usually came forth more often than the reassurances.
Rick gradually had a harder time going to sleep each night. Food began to lose its taste. His longing for confirmation on his love's safety grew deeper. The fact that Arthur hadn't been able to talk for three weeks straight only worried him all the more.
Rick dreaded most of all the possible notification of Arthur's death. His mind never ceased its adrenaline causing, anxiety riddled waves of discomfort. No matter what he tried, his inner torment continued and occasionally intensified when he inadvertently focused on the topics most difficult for him.
Eventually, once he finally wanted to admit his struggles, Rick decided to ask both Lori and Shane for advice on how to handle the final month before the deployment's end. He had them all meet up before Carl got out of school. When they got together at Shane's place, they immediately noticed his distress. "What happened?" came Lori's concerned question, worry for him and Arthur alike.
In that moment, Rick reminded himself that he didn't have to hide his true wants anymore. He could genuinely trust them without fear of repercussions. With a heavy sigh, he then proceeded to just say it how it was. "I can't stop thinking about Arthur. Of whether he'll be safe and if he'll come back home at all. I just--... I want him to come back." So as to avoid second guessing, he simply allowed the words to flood like a babbling brook.
Shane nodded to himself as he thought out the best response to help the man he saw as a brother. All he wanted to do was be there for him and support him where he could. "It's been, what? Ten months? He's also been deployed in the past on multiple occasions. He knows what he's doing."
Lori then added her two cents as well. "It won't do either of you any good to torture yourself over something that hasn't happened. You can't control what fate has in store. All you can do is hold tight and pretend it's a plan." she said softly, hoping to calm his nerves if even a little.
Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Rick nodded in understanding. "It's just--... I haven't talked to him in a while. I'm just getting antsy, is all. I'm sorry..."
Both Lori and Shane shook their heads when they heard him try to apologize. They both knew of his home life while he was growing up. The violence, the humiliation, the fear. They didn't want to see him so disturbed by natural emotions. Especially when the "problem" wasn't in his control. "Don't you apologize, man." Shane said with nothing but sincerity. "All you gotta do is prepare yourself for the day he returns. Which won't be too long now."
Absorbing their comforting thoughts and advice, he then smiled with intense gratefulness. "Thanks. Both of you. Really. Thank you."
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Not two days later did Rick get an unexpected call from Shane to come over to his house again. He said that he had a surprise to "cheer him up a little". Rick didn't particularly want to go, but he more so didn't want to be alone. Therefore, he made himself attend the small gathering in hopes of receiving even a miniscule amount of distraction. Though, he never could have foreseen what would be awaiting him.
The exact moment he walked through the threshold, Rick instantly sensed something was amiss. When he walked around the corner and into the living room, his eyes instantly flooded with tears as ecstatic relief and joy smashed into him like the pyroclastic flow from Mount Tambora. Arthur's enormous smile was all he could see; the world fading away to meaningless nothing. Without muttering a single sound, let alone a word, they instantaneously walked quickly into a long over due embrace. There wasn't a single sand particle of hesitation as Rick eagerly pulled him into a passionate, slightly desperate kiss. "How are you even here? I thought you still had a few weeks still. Not that I'm complaining." He felt confused, of course; but he felt his thankfulness for his sir returning much more powerfully than anything else.
Shane and Lori watched the scene unfold with smiles of their own; happiness for the reunion being more addictive than air. Never before had either of them seen Rick with such incomparable infatuation for another person. It seemed as though he could finally breath.
Instead of replying to Rick's question, Arthur began the speech he had worked on for months. "From the day I met you all that time ago, you somehow captured my heart by simply being exactly who you are. You're nothing short of being the sweetest, most loving, compassionate and sensitive person I've ever known." Rick listened to every word he spoke as if it were gospel. He never wanted him to stop. "You've become my very best friend through the good and the bad. You've been the reason that I smile and you've been comforting beyond measure when things got hard. You've believed in me when I didn't. You've shown me how to love with passion, purity and unconditional acceptance." Arthur then lowered to a kneel, a ring box open and in his hand. "Would you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming your husband?"
There was still no hesitation when Rick gave him another overwhelming kiss before he nodded his agreement. "Of course. A million times over; yes."
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