Chapter 14: Coping

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"Some people stay broken. Some pick up the pieces and put them back together with all the sharp edges showing."
-- Dot Hutchison (The Butterfly Garden)

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After the devastating hospital experience, Arthur became obsessive over keeping all he cared about safe from any instances that may pose as a threat. Whether it was tripping over their own feet to being violently killed mattered not. He'd still be protective, concerned and even annoyed. The night they had to watch Atlanta be bombed and ravaged in an attempt at taking out as many as possible was the night they knew just a fraction of how bad things were indeed getting. Though, sadly, the excessive violence from the falling government would all be for nothing in the long run.

That was also when they met Carol, her daughter Sophia, and her aggressive and untrustworthy husband Ed. They also banded together with other fellow survivors, allowing them better chances for success as their numbers grew. They even allowed two redneck brothers to join them; giving them access to more food. Seeing as both brothers had extensive hunting knowledge and, shall we say, "unique insights" on certain situations.

A month eventually passed them by as they all set up camp at a quarry near the city. They were close enough to be able to send scavenging parties into the highly "populated", hostile environments while also being far enough away to offer them a way to avoid unmanageable problems. It was a plan Arthur very much approved of, but was still much to affected to properly think through his opinions.

For the widowed marine, sleep became scarce and over all scattered; his dreams becoming nothing but torture. Hunger became meaningless, deprivation being only a state of mind. Every thought he conjured was nothing but a small part of the incredible tempest of dejection his mind had become. Despair coursed through every cell in his blood, numbness clouding his perception of that and those around him. Immense confusion, anger, and even shame infiltrated his bones without obstruction. His heart was seared with guilt for having failed at saving his one and only soulmate.

The torment twisted him blind and the wonder of the world was left unseen. Arthur didn't feel as though he was even living; instead, he knew he was merely  surviving. Gratitude was gradually hindered. Curiosity for the unknown was crushed. For he'd been dangerously saturating himself in dreaded apathy, though still tossing and turning between seeing himself as the victim and the perpetrator. 

In fact, his mood changes were so drastic and unpredictable that it was almost impossible to keep up with at times. One moment he grew tall, wild and reckless; full of scornful assurances. Then soon enough, he would be slapped by a bolt of uncertainty and self-doubt. He'd then shrink back down into his hollow body; lost, lacking and defeated.

Logan, too, was greatly affected by Rick's passing, though he didn't want to share his feelings in the slightest. He didn't think it necessary or fair. Seeing his father's turmoil opened Logan's eyes to what love between two people could mean. It was about finding someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. He didn't have any experience with such a phenomenon. But he did know of the behavioral changes it promotes. It became a pass-time game for him to analyze what those around him were thinking. But he never did so on his father. He didn't have the heart or the desire to do so.

The day their radio picked up a stay transmission was the day Arthur could finally find peace. "Hello? Hello? Can anyone hear my voice?"

Amy ran over to the radio and immediately tried to talk back. "Hey. Hello?" she asked with a racing heart.

"Can you hear my voice?"

"Yes, I can hear you. You're coming through. Over." she tried again.

But sadly, it wouldn't connect. "If anybody reads, please respond. Broadcasting on emergency channel. Will be approaching Atlanta on highway eighty-five. If anybody reads, please respond."

"You can't go there. It's too dangerous. We're just outside of the city." Amy said, but only got a crackle in response "Damn it. Hello? Hello?" She then looked at Dale with a disheartened feeling blossoming within her. "He couldn't hear me. I couldn't warn him." 

The older man gestured to the radio. "Try to raise him again." He then looked at Shane. "Come on, son. You know best how to work this thing."

The sir in question then knelt down and took over. "Hello, hello. Is the person who called still on the air?" When he received no response, he tried again. "This is officer Shane Walsh broadcasting to person unknown. Please respond." Again, there was nothing but silence and a faint crackle. Shane put the device down. "He's gone."

"There are others. It's not just us." Lori said, wanting them to focus on the positive.

"Of course, there is." Arthur said quietly.

Shane, too, nodded. "We knew there would be, right? That's why we left the C.B. on."

"A lot of good it's been doing." she began, having gone down this road already. "And I've been saying for a week we oughta put signs up on eighty-five to warn people away from the city."

"Folks got no idea what they're getting into." Amy agreed with a bothered expression.

Shane then got to his feet, "Well, we haven't had time."

"I think we should make time." Lori pressed, making Arthur give Shane a look.

"Yeah, that's-- That's a luxury we can't afford. We are surviving here. We are day to day." he explained again.

Dale also was siding with the other men. "Who do you propose we send, anyway?" he asked of her, genuinely curious.

"Arthur. He has decades of experience. He can handle this." When she saw the look the military man gave her, she then nodded in understanding. "I'll go, then. Give me a vehicle."

Shane, too, wasn't impressed. "Nobody goes anywhere alone. You know that."

She stared at him for a long moment then walked away with a quiet, "Yes, sir." As she walked away, Carl tried to go after her. But Shane told him to hang out with Logan while he went to talk with Lori. This was how life was now. What they didn't realize was that change was going to be their only constant.

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