Love B.C

01

Dear Darling,

You look so happy with him. I know I shouldn't have these feelings. I hate myself for having them, but the fact that I've had them longer than you've been together makes me feel a bit less bad. But it also makes me feel worse. I should of taken my chances a long time ago and confessed to you, but I'm too much of a coward.

I'm happy you're happy with Felix, but I still wish it was me you were happy with.

If you ever read this (I doubt you will, I'll probably never give it to you) I hope you know how proud I am of you that you found happiness, and to not take pity on me for these. I'm writing these to get my feelings out instead of keeping them locked up in my head, you know mental health things they tell me to do in therapy.

Anyway. The reason I need to get my feelings out is because I love you. And I shouldn't. Because you love Felix. But I can't help myself, Your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your huggable size, and just you in general. Everything about you is so perfect in my eyes.

I might keep writing these, there's so much I want to say to you everyday. all my thoughts, feelings and just random things about you that enter my mind. It's kinda fun- in a self depressing way.

Love B.C