Amour [h.s]

☼ twenty three ☼

"Forgotten what I used to be, but I think I'm happier now, somehow, though I'm still far from home, I'm making a new one just on my own"

☼ ☼ ☼

Amelie

Today is the day. Today is the day Harry finally takes me out on a date.

We arrived in Poland this morning, ready for a show tomorrow night, meaning, tonight is just for Harry and I.

Harry had lied to Georgie and asked for a hotel for the night, explaining that Milo had been waking up a lot recently and disturbing Mitch and Sarah. What Georgie doesn't know, is that Mitch and Sarah are babysitting for the night, so Harry and I can go for dinner, and then spend the rest of the night in a hotel.

I'm unsure what it will lead to, but Harry claims it'll be nice to have some space and spend a night away from the bus.

My only concern was that Milo hadn't slept away from me since joining us on the tour. And I fear I'm the one who is going to be affected by it, rather than him. Knowing he isn't going to be right next to me fills me with anxiety. Knowing I can't just go and get him when I need comfort, is slightly killing my inside.

But it's just one night.

One night. Just Harry and I.

One time I finally get a night off. I'm not a mummy tonight. I'm just Amelie. I'm Harry's Amelie.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I hadn't been on a proper date in years. Leo and I rarely dated, it was more a case of me following him around on tour. He didn't often take me out for dinner, and when he did, it was never just us.

I wasn't too sure what to expect, but as Maggie had told me when I phoned her this morning, it's just Harry. I know him. I know he isn't a threat. I'm already so close with him.

It's not a blind date, or a date with a person I've just met. It's just Harry. And perhaps our rendezvous being labelled as a date, is making me feel more anxious about it. A date means it's serious. A date means it could go further and eventually lead into labels.

That scares me.

"Are you still stressing out?" Harry asks, coming up from behind and kissing me on the cheek, his arms wrapping around my shoulders. He's smiling at me through the mirror I stare into, contemplating every feature of my face.

"I just- I'm scared." I'm honest with him, communication is key, and it's important I'm open with him. But I am scared. I'm scared of putting myself out there, I'm scared of getting hurt, I'm scared of labels.

I'm scared of loving someone.

I don't even know if I'm capable of loving someone.

"Hey" he says softly, pushing my hand that holds a makeup brush down. "Talk to me, what are you scared about?"