Online Love (fem reader × Kenma Haikyuu)

20. Unlabeled

I sat down on his bed and recalled the Events. We kissed. What does that mean now?

He seemed to notice my unessiness and sat down next to me "I like you...a lot" I looked at him with a slight blush, he kept looking between me and his lap nervously. "But I don't think I...I really dont" he groaned, he really struggled expressing himself, making me smile to myself "I know you don't want to commit." I gently noted while laying a hand on his shoulder. "And you don't have to, im fine with the knowledge that our feelings are mutual. But...you literally exposed us in the internet. How is this gonna work now? Not only did you do a face reveal you also kissed someone on your stream...aren't you worried about your reputation? I mean you're a big one in the game, aren't you?" I sighed and he just stared at me. Wasn't he worried?

"It's good to know how worried you're about my reputation but I don't care. I...wanted to do that" he explained and I sighed "so...no regrets?" He shook his head no.

"So...we keep on being friends?" I mumbled out, hugging my knees. "No.. I don't wanna be just friends." He sighed and laid back. "So...if we are not going to date but also aren't friends...what are we?" I looked down at him, smiling a little as he yawned. "I...dont know. It's not like I'd never wanna be with you It's just...not now? But I don't want to pretend nothing ever happened as well. Isn't there something in between?" He whined. I hummed "well...I guess friends with benefits is in between, but that's usual just physical stuff without a bond...and I actually feel something towards you, Kenma." He nodded "I do too...something else?" I laid back as well and we stared at the ceiling together, processing the situation. "There are also open relationships. You date but basically don't. You are dating but also meet other people and aren't that committed. Does that sound better for you?" I asked curiously but he shook his head violently. "I don't want a relationship without committing." I frowned "so...you don't want to commit but also need commitment to be with me?".

He seemed to think so I gave him time. The situation was confusing even to me, we had feelings for each other in a romantic way, yet he doesn't want to commit. Which is fine for me, but he also wants to commit somehow, he was complex for sure.

"How about we just don't name it?" He suddenly asked. "Huh?" "We don't name it. We two know what we feel for each other, we two know the value of our together being and appreciate each other, isn't that enough? We don't have to label it as long as we both agree on our terms. No one else has to care  about our relations anyways, so why name it?"  He had a good point. Relationship labels were mostly for others to know if you're available or not. But these labels are also a sort of insurance, but he was right. What we feel for each other is only our business, and as long as we know what is between us everything else is irrelevant.

I smiled at the thought and nodded "sounds relatable. So unlabelled?" He nodded "unlabelled. For now" He added. "I didn't say I'd never wanna commit. If you give me time maybe I can...eventually" he sighed and stared back to the ceiling.

I sighed softly through my nose and leaned over, kissing his cheek gently "don't worry about that please. My Feelings for you have no expiring date".

He smiled and wrapped his arms around my back, pulling me into a hug and I gladly snuggled against his chest. "You look lovely in my clothes by the way" he whispered in my hair as he kissed my head repeatedly. I giggled "you think? Should I do that more often then?" He snickered and shook his head "shut up" "make me" I scoffed. But instead of another teasing comment of his or a embarrassed action he just hugged me tighter with a loud sigh. It sounded relieved and soft.

We stayed like this for a while and just hugged each other, enjoying the other's warmth. The feeling of comfort and the relieving feeling of finally have spoken out our feelings.

"Wanna watch something?" He then suggested soon. I sat up and looked down at him "sure! What you wanna watch?" He hummed and shrugged "let's watch some funny animals?" I hummed "how about scary stories?" He raised his eyebrow at my suggestion "after you almost peed yourself earlier?".

I gasped offended "Excuse me?". I mean he was right, I was a shaking mess when he played that game. "Then how about I watch you play something?" He hummed "won't that bored you? I wanna do something you enjoy." I scoffed and hit his shoulder gently "Ey! I love watching you play! It never bored me before! Also it's only 1 am and I know we won't sleep for another 2 hours or so" he hummed and looked to his switch "wanna watch me play Luigis Mansion?" He gently pat my head and I nodded excitedly.

He quickly connected the switch with his big TV and we cuddled up in his bed. I laid my head on his shoulder and hugged his Torso while watching him catch ghosts.

We snuggled up under the blanket and it was a really comfortable mood in the room.

Outside it was storming with thunder and rain filling the usually so quiete street outside. But inside this room it was warm and quiet. Only the cute music of the game combined with the sound of buttons pressed was heard in the room and the dimmed light of his screen was the only light source.

There was something about the situation that made me wish it never ends. I felt so peaceful, watching him play while I could hold him so close, I would've never thought that we'd end up like this.

"By the way...yn?" He broke the comfortable silence. "Yes Kenma?" I whispered back to him, not taking my eyes of the screen. "What was that about you changing schools after Holidays? Are you really going to Karasuno?" I hummed in agreement.

"Why?" He asked a little more quiet, causing me to sigh. "Well...that decision was actually made before I grew closer with your friend group. I got some trouble at my old school, that's why I'm switching." He nodded "what happened?. "Oh nothing really...just small inconveniences." He nodded and kissed my head gently "also, I feel way more comfortable just now going to Karasuno. I saw the school already and I know some people already! Even if they're just the volleyball guys from your friend group but it's soothing to know I won't be all alone at the beginning. I'll have Shoyo" I smiled and he nodded "are you in trouble?" I sighed.

I was.

"No. But I can't stand my school anymore. I just want to finish the last year in peace." "What about your dancing club?" "I can dance in my free time" "what about your friends" "I'm changing schools, not moving away." He seemed to give up and nodded.

I really didn't wanna deepen the topic, it's non of his business and I don't want to drag him in my stupid issues.

"Well if you need to talk...I'm here for you yn.". I smiled weakly and nodded, hugging him tighter "thanks Kenma..".

Maybe I'll tell him if the time is right, but not now.

Now I want to enjoy and take in all the peace Kenma radiates around me and focus on him and our friends.