Ice frozen dreams turned golden

Chapter 20

It was the first morning after spring break and everyone was running around packing their school bags or finishing their homework.

"Has anyone seen my gym clothes? I can't find them!" Nora yelled through the house.

"You left them on my bed the other day, remember? The smell of your stinky feet is still hanging in my room by the way!" Luca yelled back from somewhere.

"Hey! The socks were clean, and just so you know, my feet don't smell!" Nora said, and Lizzie couldn't help but laugh. It seemed like Nora and Luca would never stop teasing each other.

Lizzie had already packed her school bag yesterday, which is why she was the only Alwyn kid who could actually enjoy her breakfast in peace this morning.

"Are you sure you have everything you need for today?" Taylor asked her nonetheless, while she prepared the kid's lunches.

"I'm sure!" Lizzie replied and smiled at her. She had triple-checked everything yesterday morning as she could still remember that one time she had forgotten to bring her history book to school and her mom had found out about it. Since then she had learned not to forget anything ever again.

"Good morning, Lizziebug!" Joe came into the kitchen and greeted them.

"Elena's school bag is packed. I also found a very old lunchbox in there... I threw it away without opening it. I don't think it would have been pretty..." Joe said to Taylor and chuckled a little bit.

"Very wise choice," Taylor replied and opened one of the cupboards. "Joe, did you eat a chocolate bar again? I could have sworn I still had five left, but now there are only four..."

Lizzie looked up from her breakfast and could feel her cheeks turning red. She knew it hadn't been Joe who took the chocolate bar.

The first time Lizzie had snuck into the kitchen to steal a chocolate bar had been after a particularly scary nightmare in which she had been a scared little eleven-year-old again, desperately trying to get something to eat because her mom had put her on another diet thinking she was too fat.

When Lizzie had woken up she had been quite shaken up. What if Taylor or Joe ever decided not to give her any food? She had gained some weight since she had joined their family - what if they thought she got too fat as well?

In her mom's house, stealing food had never been a possibility as her mom would make it a habit to count every single thing they had. Lizzie once ate a small piece of cheese and her mom immediately noticed.

But Lizzie knew that Taylor and Joe never counted their food. With five growing kids, it was quite impossible to keep track of groceries and what happened to them. Lizzie knew they wouldn't notice a few chocolate bars missing.

So the girl sneaked into the kitchen this night and stole some, only a few. She hid them under her bed, just in case Taylor and Joe decided not to feed her one day.

And with time, her storage grew. Whenever she got a little bag of chips or a granola bar with her lunchbox, she would hide them under her bed.
Whenever she had a nightmare, she would sneak into the kitchen and take another chocolate bar. She felt guilty for sneaking around and hiding things, but she couldn't help herself. No matter how many times she tried to tell herself that Taylor and Joe wouldn't starve her, she didn't fully believe herself. It's better to be safe than sorry, she thought.

And last night she had had a nightmare again and the only thing that had helped her calm down was taking another chocolate bar. It was the only thing she had control over. She would never ever let anyone starve her again, especially not now that she knew what it was like not to go hungry to bed.