Epiphany

chapter 11

Since I and Andrew got back home, we hadn't talked.

Thankfully when Andrew saw I was teary earlier, he didn't continue the conversation anymore.

I really felt bad for shouting, it wasn't his fault. I could understand that to some point.

But I just couldn't also stop blaming him.

We were supposed to be brothers, best friends.

We were supposed to be there for each other.

This night, mum isn't coming home, she is working a double shift again.

Since we got back home, Lucy and Paige haven't left Andrew's room. They were talking about all sort of stuffs and I couldn't help getting annoyed because they were so loud, no one cared that it was getting late and we needed to eat.

God, they are all so annoying and selfish.

An hour later.

Seriously.

Sitting up on my head, I decide to order pizza for myself

I sigh,

I know I'd feel really guilty if I only order for myself, so I order for all of us.

After I'm done, I leave my room to go wait downstairs for the pizza delivery so it's easier and faster.

For the next few minutes, I try focusing on something other than my siblings upstairs, I can't help but feel really...alone.

Maybe Andrew didn't really care how I felt or anyone at all.

Paige has never once felt bad or apologized for how she treated me, I could understand if she always only felt like she wanted to take out her anger on me or if she'd just come out to me that she hated me, then I'd be clear on the kind of relationship we had.

Everything feels so confusing and sad. Why couldn't I be like everyone else, or get things easy?

Why did everything have to be out there to make me question my entire purpose of existence?

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when the doorbell rings, I think the pizza guy is here.

After I pay for the pizza, I walk upstairs to Andrew's room and knock.

"come in" I hear Andrew say from inside.

I walk in

"I ordered pizza for everyone. That's if you're hungry"

"Is that for dinner tonight?" I hear Paige ask.

What else, it's not like y'all were willing to cook or anything.

I roll my eyes and walk out. My anger and frustration is really getting the better or me.

I literally just made Paige angry and I wonder if Andrew would let her hit me or anything.

I honestly do not care.

As I am half way down the stairs, I hear Paige call out

"I asked you a question Luke"

It was so obvious she was getting angry already.

Deep down I was getting so scared already but I really wanted to put up a fight for once.

It was stupid and what I did was totally unnecessary but at that moment, I didn't care.

I feel Paige grab me as I reach down the stairs

My heart is beating so fast.

"I was talking to you, are you suddenly deaf or something?"

Silence

She scoffs.

Oh geez.

It wasn't up to a second, I feel the side of my face sting.

Paige had slapped me.

I didn't expect that at all, I thought she would have pushed me or something.

I felt my insides shatter and tears gathered in eyes but I didn't let them fall, I couldn't.

Not now, I needed to stand up for myself as much as I could.

"did you just slap me?"

"yes. What are you going to do about it?"

"I hate you, more than anything in the world even more than dad. I wish you had been the one who left instead of dad"

I didn't wait for her reply as I ran up the stairs to my room.

I finally let the tears fall, I did and it felt like hours.

In all the months that Paige had been like this to me, I had never felt so miserable.

I felt bad for what I said and I also didn't feel sorry because I knew I meant them.

I was hurt, more than I could take.

Everyone was being so unfair, Paige was being so unfair. Why wasn't she like that to Lucy or Andrew, why was it only me?

Why was it like the weight of everything was on me when I wasn't even the eldest.

I hated everything.

there folks, what do you think?

was it ok they way luke had started the whole thing or it wasn't his fault?