~ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟒 ~

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Hawk's POV:

We talked forever. Normally I would have found it torture but I don't know.. everything is different when I'm with her. She always catches my attention. Even the littlest things she does makes me feel a certain way. No one has ever made me feel this way. Not even Moon. She makes me forget about all the pain I'm feeling. She's so comforting.. so sweet.

Y/n snaps me out of my thoughts when she says "We should leave".

I nod.

We arrive at the car and I am dying to speak to Y/n. I don't know what I could say but I need to speak to her. Everything is so fascinating about her.

"We should exchange snapchats" I blurted out unintentionally.

She stares at me in silence for longer than I liked.

"Sure" She says simply.

My stomach all over a sudden grumbles extremely loud. The red fills my cheeks.

"Maybe we should grab some food. It sounds like your starving". Y/n giggles.

God her laugh. It's the cutest thing ever. Nothing about this girl fails to interest me. She's perfect.

We decide to go to a diner not far from the hospital.

Y/n's deep in thought.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I ask with a smile on my face.

"What are your interests?" Y/n asks randomly.

"uh what?" I say confused.

"Your interests" She repeats.

"Come on don't tell me you don't have any! You bound to have some!" Y/n says.

I clear my throat still confused by the sudden curiosity.

"Uh yeah I do.. I like karate and watching tv while drinking some beers".

"No not those, I want to know your real interests. Not the boring ones! Come on I know your holding back from me. You don't need to. I wont judge you. I want to learn about the things you like. It makes me happy seeing you happy" She smiles after she says it.

I don't open up to people. Not anyone. But I can't help but open up to her. It's like I have no control.

I tell her about all my interest I spend a lot of time trying to hide away from others. There's no a single expression that makes her seem the littlest bit uninterested. She looks intrigued throughout.

"We should exchange snapchats!" Y/n says with enthusiasm.

I agree quickly. Way more quickly than I wanted to.

After we finish chatting and eating our food. Y/n drives us home.

"I guess I'll see you around Hawk?" She asks.

"I guess you will" I reply.

*2 hours later*

New snapchat message from Y/n

I stare at my phone for a while. I'm not sure whether to answer. I had a great time don't get me wrong but I'm not myself when I'm around her. I'm so vulnerable around her. I hate it. She isn't even that great. I hate the way I feel and the way I act around her. Like she has some kind of power over me. Which she most certainly doesn't!

I open the message.

Y/n:

Thought of you when I saw this! :)

*Harry potter meme*

I smile at my phone without realising. What the fuck is wrong with me! She shouldn't be able to make me smile like that. No one can.

I decide to ignore the messages. I can't have people thinking that I have gone soft because of her. She's a nobody.

I go to bed that night with pure guilt. I know she's probably freaking out that I haven't answered her messages. She's an overthinker. She told me this when she was telling me about herself. This is probably the worst thing that I could do to her. But I don't like how she makes me feel so vulnerable. It's not me. Plus if she makes me feel this way then it really shouldn't matter that I aired her right? She shouldn't make me feel a way that I don't like.

*The next morning*

I slept dreadful.

She was on my mind the whole night. She shouldn't be. She should be the last thing I think about. She's not that important. I hate it. I really do.

I get dressed and ready for school. I cant be arsed to go but my mum will throw a fit if I don't.

I chuck on something that's quick and easy without a thought.

I end up wearing a plain sports t shirt and some black shorts.

I grab my bag and leave being fully aware that I will most definitely arrive late but I don't care. They cant bitch about it because at least I've attended.

I notice her as soon as I walk in. She stares at me. Probably hoping my expression gives away what I'm doing.

I look down at my phone trying to seem like I don't care.

*15 missed messages on snapchat from Y/n*

Seeing that made me feel sick to my stomach. I knew I was being a prick but I couldn't stop. I just couldn't. I needed to do what was necessary even if that meant hurting Y/n.

I walked into class and she was sat in the seat next to mine. I don't even bother to look at her. I act as though the seat next to mine is empty and no one has filled it. Acting like she doesn't exist helps me not feel so sick to my stomach.

The teacher is talking about some bullshit I don't care about. I slowly drift into a sleep when I'm woken up by something nudging my arm.

Y/n's wrote on a piece of paper for me to read. I look at her but her head is down in her book writing.

I open the note.

Why have you been ignoring my messages? Is something wrong? Has your phone been hacked or something? Did I do something? Did the harry potter meme I sent you offend you? Please talk to me.

- Y/n.

I crumple it up and throw it into the bin. I knew she would overthink. I hate how bad this is hurting her. But I need to stay strong.

I look over at her and see tears fill her eyes. She slowly puts her hand up and asks to be excused to the bathroom. Her voice is all shaky and quiet. I knew I hurt her.

She rushes out without a second thought.

She's not going to the bathroom, she's going to the library. I want to get up and run after her. Apologise for what I've done. But I can't. I've got to stay strong. I need to.

She'll get over it eventually..

Right?

*Authors note*

Hey all, I apologise for the long wait, I've worked all summer and just started college but I really don't want to give up on my stories so I will update them as soon as I can but I don't know how long that will be. I hope your all okay and I love you all and thank you so much for the support <3

- Jess xxx

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⏰ Last updated: Sep 06, 2022 ⏰

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