The Calm and the Storm

21

21

My hands were shaking. I tried to calm it down by drinking a hot coffee but it's only making it worse. Kanina ay sinabihan ako ng secretary ng boss namin na pinapatawag niya raw ako 'pag lunch break na.

The whole time, I was overthinking. Ano kaya ang sasabihin niya? Bakit niya ako pinatawag? Did I do something wrong? Ano na naman ba ang mali ko?

I could not think straight. My focus was on my mistakes.

The past three days was a mess. Wala akong sapat na tulog. Hindi na rin ako kumakain nang maayos. Bahay, opisina—iyan lamang ang tanging pinupuntahan ko.

Before lunch break, naghintay na ako sa labas ng opisina ng boss ko. I knew I was nervous, but I could not care about it anymore. As if everything went numb.

"Ms. Trinity?" ani ng secretary. "You can come in, po."

I heaved a sigh as I stood up and nodded at her. Nanghihina ang mga tuhod ko ngunit pinilit kong maglakad.

Pumasok ako sa opisina. Nakaupo ang boss ko sa isang swivel chair habang may binabasang mga papel sa folder. He took his eyeglasses off when he saw me.

"Have a seat, Ms. Romualdez."

I nodded and sat on the chair across his desk.

Our boss was already in his 50's. He has always been patient. However, I was scared if I'd be at the end of it.

"Are you okay?" tanong niya.

"I am."

"You don't look fine, Ms. Romualdez. Ang dami kong naririnig na wala ka raw sa mabuting kalagayan."

I played with my fingers. "I'm doing well, Sir. You don't have to worry."

"No, I should. Considering that you are handling one of the firm's biggest deals, I should have every right to be worried."

My anxiety made my stomach churned. Hindi ako makapagsalita kasi alam ko na may point siya.

"I can't understand you. Look, if you have personal problems, I completely understand if you want to take a break. You also look stressed. Nag-aalala lang ako na baka madamay mo ang deal na ito."

Yumuko ako, hindi alam kung ano ang sasabihin.

"I just want to remind you that this is important. You sounded so confident during the meeting when you took the offer. I trust in you. Do not let me down. Do not let me regret it."

Because I was never the option. My sister was always better. And everywhere, I am always reminded by that and it hurts so much.

"Pasensiya ka na, po," ani ko.

Pagkatapos ng pag-uusap namin ay dumiretso ako sa aking opisina at ini-lock ito. I took a deep breath as I placed my back on the door as I waited for my tears to come down.

Ngunit wala.

Nakakapagod na rin.

I stayed like that for five minutes before I unlocked it and went to my chair. Nagbukas ako ng laptop at kaagad na tiningnan ang estado ng trabaho ko. I did not have the motivation pero wala akong choice.

Minutes later, someone knocked on the door. Nag-angat ako ng tingin at nakita si Jaypee at Annabelle. Ngumiti sila sa akin at pumasok.

"Yes?" I asked.

Jaypee smiled and carefully placed a paper bag at the edge of the table. "May pagkain po kami para sa inyo. Lunch."

Oh.