It's Never Easy

Chapter 3 - Arianne

Arianne

Thank god. Dion was finally home. I'd only be alone with Astor for a handful of moments but already those moments felt monumental. Sure, he was hot, but it was so much more than that. When he touched me...god it was stupid and cliched, but there were sparks. It felt good and there was something familiar about that touch. That simple touch created an inferno inside me, igniting a craving for physical touch - something I hadn't felt in years. It was unfamiliar and while I definitely enjoyed that barest brush of our fingers, I was still on the verge of a breakdown.

But everything was okay because Dion was here. Dion who rivalled Astor in height and muscles and good-looks. But who, unlike Astor, was safe, because I'd known him my entire life. His soft brown curls, chocolate eyes and five o'clock shadow were more familiar to me that whatever I had imagined between Astor and I.

Dion paused in the doorway, eyes immediately landing on Astor and sizing him up. Astor stood up straighter and narrowed his eyes back at him, his jaw hardening. They eyed each other suspiciously, deeply engaged in some alpha-male stare off.

Lena stumbled in behind Dion before they could get into a full pissing contest. She staggered straight to the sink, stretching her head under the tap and drinking loudly. As she straightened, her gaze went to Astor, her sleepy eyes drinking him in. Something that felt suspiciously like jealously tightened in my chest.

Lena was my sister, adopted, but we were as good as blood related, and people often thought we were twins. Twins in looks alone though. For while we shared a wardrobe, I was more on the straight and narrow and Lena, Lena was absolutely off the rails. She was in her rebel phase after finding out we were adopted. It didn't help that Dad wasn't exactly forthcoming about our birth parents. She wasn't talking to him but she was spending all his money and sleeping with all his business partners. Dad was protective and always threatened to kill any boy that came near us, but if Lena slept with all the men in the south west of England, well that made his job all the more harder.

And then there was Dion, Dad's best friend's son who conveniently got into the same university as us and was definitely feeding back information to Dad. But he was a big teddy bear, and I was glad he was around to be our personal bodyguard, it meant I could actually go out without having a panic attack. He was also a good cook.

"I'm Lena." She purred. Astor barely acknowledged her. He gave her a tight nod, sharply giving her his name, but then his gaze was locked back on Dion. "Is he gay?" She whispered, loudly, in my ear. Because that was the only reason a male wouldn't notice her - he must be gay.

"I don't know." I admitted. I certainly hoped he wasn't.

"I'm not." He said, gruffly. My entire body flushed with embarrassment, I can't believe she actually had said that out loud and he had heard and he had answered her stupid question. I mumbled a sorry and his eyes landed on mine. "Don't be." He said, his voice notable softer. My face was burning. Now I was the one Dion was eying suspiciously.

Apparently unfazed by any of the tension in the room, Lena filled the silence. "Classes haven't even started yet and I've already got four." Lena said, marking off another tally on the chalkboard by the fridge.

I could see the question in Astor's eyes, so I answered it before he could ask, "She's trying to sleep with the captains of all the sports teams."

"I don't suppose you're a captain." Lena asked, determined as ever.

"I am not."

"Pity." She pouted, very obviously looking him up and down. I felt that slice of jealousy again but his eyes only momentarily flickered in her direction. "Anyway, final Saturday before we start, so we're going out tonight?" Although it wasn't really a question, we would be going out tonight. We would also be going out every night next week because it was freshers. And every Wednesday night for the rest of the year because that was the one club night the football team, and therefore Dion, was allowed to go to. "We can show Astor the ropes."

"Sure." Dion finally spoke. "Have you eaten?" The question was asked pointedly at Lena and I. We shook our heads. Both men sighed heavily. "Fine, I'm ordering McDonalds for lunch and I'll cook tonight before we go out." Dion passed Lena his phone for her order and after I'd put mine in I automatically passed it to Astor. Dion glared at me - what the hell was his problem with the guy, they'd literally just met.

"I'll send you money, if you give me your details." Astor tried to acquiesce. Dion just grunted, snatched his phone back and headed to his room. I cringed, feeling awkward for Astor.

"I'm sorry about him, he probably had a bad day with the new recruits."

Lena scoffed, "Or he's pouting because you're hotter than him." He didn't pay her much notice, his eyes still firmly on me. I tried not to squirm under his intense gaze. Bored with the lack of attention, Lena headed to her room for a nap. Which left me alone with Astor.

"I have a question. And you don't have to answer if you don't want to." He broached cautiously. I nodded for him to continue but my anxiety had spiked. "How does clubbing work as a germaphobe?"

I shrugged, trying to look as casual as possible, despite the fact my heart was racing. "I care less when I'm drunk." The truth was, I could handle club nights because Dion always came and we both had a two drink limit and he would never take his eyes off me. It was safe. Men didn't approach me if Dion was around because he had this don't fuck with me aura about him. But even with all this I sometimes still had panic attacks in the club bathrooms. His brows furrowed as he considered me carefully. "Listen, it's not something you need to be worried about. It's my weird thing."

"I just don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"You don't." I assured him, "Don't stress about it."

"Oh, I will." He gave me the most dazzling smile and then turned to continue putting away his groceries. I was left staring at his impressive back and shoulders. What the hell did that mean?