The Dark Flower (Azriel x OC)

8. Calanmai (Persephone)

Percy went through her trials the following day unable to truly pay attention to anything around her while simultaneously knowing that she was likely proving to be quite the disappointment in Father and Moira's eyes. Once the wretched day was all over and done with, Percy couldn't say that she recalled a single thing that she'd done. 

"I think you did quite well," Alis told her dismissively. "Perhaps it was better that you were forced to go through your trials in a state of shock. You didn't speak out of turn or interrupt... You answered appropriately and acted as a proper little Spring Court lady ought to behave." 

Percy merely shook her head. "You seem to forget that even perfection isn't good enough, and I certainly wasn't anywhere near my best." 

Alis sighed and Percy could hear the shuffling of fabric as she searched out a gown for Percy. "That's not true. You very much exceeded their definitions of perfection - something that you could never do if you were yourself, because fact of the matter is, when you're in the public eye, they don't want you. They want a living, breathing doll, who says pretty things and smiles at the right times and never ever speaks out of turn."

It was easy to agree with Alis's assessment given the fact that no one had ever said otherwise. In fact, while Moira hadn't exactly said it in so many words, it had certainly been a teaching. But given that Percy could hardly recollect a single thing that she'd done yesterday... well, how could she have been perfect?

"I'll be confined to Rosehall for the day, so there's no need for anything of extravagance," Percy mumbled as she sat up at the edge of the bed. Once Father and Moira told her every detail of how she'd royally messed up, she doubted she would be fit do anything other than lay around and mope. 

Alis settled on a casual gown and a soft pair of shoes before sending Percy on her way. She was slower than usual as she made her way down the stairs and to the dining room. Usually she relished being able to sit down for breakfast with her father since it was rare that they had the chance to do so, but today... today she was feeling more inclined to solitude. How very unladylike of her. 

"Ah, good!" Father said once Percy stepped into the room. She could feel the heat of his body as he stepped in close to her and placed a kiss upon her forehead. "Happy Birthday." 

She forced a small smile. "Thank you." 

Moira's petite steps sounded next. "Yes, yes. Happy Birthday, Persephone." 

There was a hesitance in their tones that told Percy everything that she needed to know. She did not pass as Alis had predicted. She'd failed again. Yet still, she found herself asking, "So what's the verdict then?" 

Father let out a soft sigh. "You did excellent considering the circumstances, but you still need a fair bit of training yet, I'm afraid."

Percy's shoulders slumped. She wasn't sure why she was disappointed. It wasn't as if she hadn't seen this coming. Still... she supposed some small part of her still held out hope that Alis was right. 

"What does any of it even matter?" Percy found herself asking. "We're so very close to the deadline now and you and Feyre haven't shared so much as a kiss yet. It's time to face the facts of our predicament. Amarantha will be coming for all of us - there is no life after Amarantha takes this court. There will only be pain and death, and I for one, plan on choosing death."