Nikomedes and the Game of Olympus

Chapter 18, Act I - Dead or Alive Recording Studios.

I didn't want to deal with Crusty. We got ushered into his stupid waterbed palace soon after we entered the city, and as soon as he said, "I'm Crusty," I grumbled. "Yes, yes you are." I swiftly brought out my sword, and not another word was uttered before he crumbled into dust. Percy looked at me in shock, and I looked at the trio skeptically.

"Come on. Most monster lairs start with monster alias, then their business, somehow related to their myth, and then some grandiose adjective. Emporium, Palace, the list, I assure you, goes on. This dude was Procrustes. Sorry, Percy, he's one of your monster brothers." I explained. Annabeth gave me a dumbfounded look.

"Hey, at least being related to him isn't as weird as being related to a rug." I said defensively. Grover shrugged. I think he was the only one that's just used to my peculiar shenanigans by now.

I glanced to the bulletin board we passed when entering his store, and snatched the bright orange flier for DOA Recording Studios. "Our destination." I said, gesturing at the address on the flier.

"Come on." Percy urged them. "It's only a block from here."

It was only a couple minutes before we stood in front of the doors. I almost laughed at the sign hanging on the doors. No Solicitors. No Loitering. No Living. Super creative, honestly. Props to them. I opened the doors, and slid into the room crowded with spirits.

Muzak played softly over hidden speakers, and it was frankly unnerving to hear in a place like this. It really set the tone.

"Your name is Chiron?" Percy asked, bewildered, to the guard. The guard leaned across the desk. "What a precious young lad. Tell me, mate, do I look like a centaur to you?" He asked Percy. "No, no." Percy said, chuckling nervously. "Sir." The guard added smoothly. "Sir." Percy added eloquently.

You know, out of all things I anticipated from this quest, I did not anticipate learning that Charon had a British accent.

The guard pinched his name tag. "Can you read this? It says C-H-A-R-O-N. Say it with me. Charon." Charon said condescendingly. "Charon." Percy echoed, a little stunned that a god was talking him down without just smiting him. "Amazing! Now, Mister Charon." Charon continued. "Mister Charon." He echoed.

I was wondering whether or not the god had charmspeak of some variety. "Well done. I hate being confused with that old horse-man. Now, may I help you little dead ones?" I stifled a laugh. I knew where this was going, and I wasn't about to step in.

"We want to go to the Underworld." Annabeth spoke, stepping up. I noticed her hands were shaking a little, despite her confident appearance. "Well, that's refreshing." Charon smirked. "It is?" She asked. "Straightforward and honest. No screaming, no 'There must be a mistake, Mister Charon.' How did you lot die, then?" He asked.

"Um...drowned...in the bathtub." Grover lied, after Percy nudged him. "All three of you?" Charon asked. Thankfully, I wasn't lumped in with them, since I was standing back, away from them, so I could bear witness to the Golden Trio sharing a singular brain cell. "Big bathtub." He mused.

"I don't suppose you have coins for passage. Normally, with adults, you see, I could charge your American Express, or add the ferry price to your last cable bill. But with children...alas, you never die prepared. Suppose you'll have to take a seat for a few centuries." He explained to them. "Oh, but we have coins." Percy offered, setting three drachma on the counter.

"Well, now...real drachmas. Real golden drachmas. I haven't seen these in..." He trailed off, narrowing his eyes. "Hold it, now, lad. You couldn't read my name right. Are you dyslexic, lad?" He asked Percy.

"No," Percy denied. "I'm dead."

I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing, and sauntered up to the counter, placing a bag of drachma on the counter. "Charon, we need to see your boss. We're here with his express permission, to help investigate in regards to the thief who stole his Helm." I said, dropping my voice for the last part.