Futile Wars

Chapter 5

Reminders of memories.

Brendon

We get back to Ryan's flat and go to the kitchen, where two guys are sitting at the kitchen table. They watch us walk in with the groceries. Ryan does the introductions.

"Brendon, these are my flatmates, Craig," he motions towards the blonde guy, "and this is Nick," and he motions towards the other one. "And guys, this is my, uh, Brendon. My friend. Brendon," he finishes rather awkwardly.

I can't help but smile. Before yesterday I didn't really know what Ryan thought of me, besides that he didn't hate me. But I still could have been the 'asshole ex', the 'lying cunt' or something else equally bad. But now I'm his friend and it warms me from head to toe.

We start putting stuff in the fridge as Ryan talks to his flatmates, enquiring after the only one missing, a guy called Henry. We've just finished putting stuff away, when Ryan's phone rings.

"It's Spencer," he tells me and leaves the room and I'm left alone with Craig and Nick. They're looking at me kind of funny.

"So where did you and Ryan meet? You in one of his classes?" Craig asks and I can see he is suppressing a grin. Nick shoots him a 'shut the hell up' glare. I'm beginning to feel slightly uncomfortable.

"No, um, we know each other way back," I tell them.

Ryan's been living with these guys for a few months and they don't know who I am. This means Ryan hasn't thought me worth mentioning or that he wanted to pretend I didn't exist. In any case it feels a bit shitty that he decided not to mention this huge chapter of his life to his new friends.

"Yeah, you certainly seem to know each other quite well," Craig says and keeps grinning. Nick can no longer help himself, but bursts out laughing and giggling. I'm about to object to whatever it is that's going on, when Nick speaks out.

"Oh man, oh man," he almost giggles, gasping for air in between fits of laughter.

"No, no," he then says to me, apparently noticing that I look rather pissed off and confused, "We just heard the pair of you shagging last night. Oh, and the singing too." He giggles a bit. "I mean, we're guessing he was with you, since he was crying out Brendon... Man love, eh?"

I'm bright red and I clear my throat and look out the window. Craig turns to me with a wondering expression. "So how exactly-"

Luckily Ryan comes back just then. I'm pretty sure that Craig was about to ask me about the wonders of gay sex and I'm more than pleased that I don't have to talk him through it.

"Sorry about that, Spencer wanted to check up on me," Ryan smiles reassuringly, "What you guys chatting about?"

"Oh, um," Craig says and looks at Nick for help, "Nothing, much, we just..."

Nick helps his friend. "Just telling Brendon here that he's really lucky. You know, 'cause, you're a really great guy."

Ryan looks slightly embarrassed. It's adorable.

"Um, no, it's not like that," he tells them and elaborates, "Like, we used to date, way, way back, but yeah, that was a long time ago now." Ryan looks over to me and gives me a shy smile. "We're just friends now. Brendon's got a boyfriend and all."

Silence.

I really wish Ryan hadn't said that. But Ryan doesn't know that the whole house heard us having sex. I can see Nick and Craig raising eyebrows and looking at me. Yep, I'm a cheating asshole. There you go. Glad that we got that one out of the way in the first five minutes of our acquaintance.