Futile Wars

Chapter 7

This is something epic.

Ryan

"There's snow outside!" I shriek and literally pull Brendon out of bed. He staggers over to the window and gazes outside sleepily. I'm jumping up and down like a little kid, but hey, we don't get snow in Vegas.

"Let's go outside!" I implore him.

"Uh, Ry, it's early," Brendon whines and I slap him in the ass. He immediately seems to be more aware of his surroundings.

20 minutes later we're in the park five minutes away from Brendon's flat. I'm making snowballs and giggling and some of my enthusiasm must be getting to Brendon too.

I'm trying to hit a pine tree with my snowballs, but I'm not having much success. Then a snowball hits me in the back of the head with a smack. I turn around and see Brendon grinning like an idiot.

"No you didn't!" I exclaim and Brendon starts running away from me. I'm taller, I have longer legs, and soon I've got him pinned down to the ground. He wriggles beneath me as I take a handful of cold snow and rub it on his face.

"Nooo! Noooo!" Brendon protests and laughs.

I stop teasing him and instead give him a long kiss. We're breathing heavily from the chase as well as from the kiss. He smiles at me and god, I adore him. I brush his messy hair away from his eyes.

"You're gorgeous," Brendon says, which is exactly what I was thinking of him.

I stand up and help Brendon get on his feet. We brush snow off each other and intertwine our fingers as we start a walk around the park.

"Every day will be like this," Brendon informs me, "Once you move here and we can be together every day."

I'm probably grinning like an idiot. Brendon stops walking and I turn to look at him.

"And it'll be like this every single day for the rest of my life. Because if it's not exactly like this, if you're not there, then it's not a life I'm interested in living." I can feel myself blush slightly at his words. Brendon grins. "If it's a life where I don't have you blushing at my cheesy lines, then I don't want it. Because I only want you. Every single day. Every fucking moment. For as long as I live," he says and there is a sense of urgency in his voice. Brendon pulls me in a passionate, loving kiss that gives me butterflies.

When we get back to his flat I start making us breakfast. Once it's ready I go to his bedroom to tell Brendon that the table's been set. He's at his laptop, typing away and saying he'll be just a sec, just needs to say bye to one of his online buddies. Some guy called Adam, he informs me. He gets up, wraps his arms around me and says he much rather have me for breakfast. I think it sounds like a brilliant idea.

* * *

Brendon's dressed and stands in the middle of my room, unsure of what to do. I sit on the edge of my bed and I don't know what to do either. It's just a bit after six in the morning and Brendon's leaving. We managed to fall back asleep for an hour or two, but now it is morning.

Brendon is leaving and I don't want to think about it. I already feel empty.

Brendon has an apologetic look on his face, but I don't want him to be sorry. If I miss him it'll be my own fault. If I've let myself fall for him again it's my own fault. If my heart is breaking then I am breaking it myself.

"You could always come with me," Brendon says quietly. I lift my head and I can see his hopeful expression. He doesn't want to part with me and I don't want to part with him. We're sad bastards, I conclude. We're grabbing on to anything, anything at all, we just don't want to let go yet.