Maybe We Don't Deserve Perfect - Discontinued

Chapter 7 ~ Not Completely Perfect

Sorry this chapter took so long to get out! Things have been crazy and writer's block sucks. So yeah, this chapter is kind of short and isn't my favorite thing ever, but at least it exists I guess lol

"This is the safe house they were staying in," Rima said, pushing the front door of the somewhat crappy-looking house open.

"It's not the greatest thing ever, but then again, we don't have a billionaire funding our missions and we've handled it just fine so far," Vaani added.

"Be nice," Rima reminded her as she led the way into the apartment, a gun in hand.

It had taken them less than an hour to hike from the jet to the city. Most civilians assumed they were tourists (that thought was solidified by them acting like your standard American tourists that you see in the movies [you guys know what I'm talking about {Splash stop breaking the fourth wall!...never}])

They agreed that Rima would lead the way into the apartment, gun ready in case whoever kidnapped the other widows was still there.

The others followed inside quickly, also tense.

While Rima, Tatyana, Vaani, and Natasha carefully cased the apartment to look for any signs of the intruders the others had to wait in silence. Bated breath as they prepared for a fight.

Yelena was in the back of the group, watching behind them to make sure that there was no sniper trained on the apartment. She glanced around as she waited, taking even breaths as she waited for gunshots or shouting, or just some sign of fighting.

But none came.

"There's nothing here," Vaani snapped, as she led the others back into the entry hall of the apartment, "No proof that anyone was here at all."

"Isn't that some proof itself? That there's no proof that the widows were here?" Clint asked.

"Not really. Their mission was almost done. They might have been preparing to leave, and part of that is clearing the safe house of all signs they were there," Tatyana replied.

Yelena remembered that always being something the Red Room cracked down on. You never left any proof of life. Never left any proof that you existed. Never left any proof of yourself.

The world was never supposed to know about you.

And if anyone found you, you killed them.

"Most windows don't leave many signs even as they live there for weeks," Rima said, "Just in case they need to suddenly leave and don't have time to wipe everything."

"Can't be caught off guard if you're expecting to be caught off guard," Evelyn added.

Adira nodded, "Something you have to learn very quickly if you want to stay alive."

Yelena frowned. Why did the Red Room have to shove all of these things into their heads? It made it so hard for them to live normally. But they didn't expect the widows to be normal, did they? They just wanted them to be efficient.

To act normal when they so clearly weren't.

The Red Room wasn't ever expecting to not have the widows under their control. They were only expecting the widows to die on missions... or for the widows to be killed by the Red Room themselves.

They didn't plan for the widows to be able to live this future, because they didn't think there was ever even the slimmest possibility of this future happening.

"Reminds me of something Peter's friend says," Wanda said, "'If you expect disappointment, then you can never really be disappointed.'"

"Peter's friend is exactly right," Natasha said.

Tatyana nodded, "Sounds like a smart kid."

"Also sounds like a sad life," Lila added.

The widows glanced at her.

"I mean, it's okay to be excited about something. Getting your hopes up isn't bad. You just have to learn how to deal with failure and success. Plus, if you're not excited for something, then would there be a point in getting it? Joy in getting it? Or would it just be something else added to your life?"

The widows stayed silent, giving Lila a chance to continue, "It's kind of the lesson of life, really. Everything comes with its ups and downs. If you don't learn how to deal with the downs, you don't get the joy of the ups. Like with love. Learning to love someone is amazing, the memories you get with them are amazing," Lila met Yelena's eyes, "but one day, you're going to lose that someone. And it's going to hurt so much. But you'll still have the memories. So really, the question is if you'll brave the hurt and pain and disappointment to get that chance at love and happiness and laughter."

Silence.

Lila had just said something that surprised the widows so much that they were speechless.

Lila was right, Yelena realized. Things after Natasha died were hard. Yelena thought it would never get better. But being able to look back on the memories that she had of Natasha..... was great. It made things a bit better.

Not completely perfect.

But better.

"I... hadn't thought of it that way," Tatyanna admitted.

"You have an interesting view of things," Evelyn said.

Clint ruffled Lila's hair, "I think she has a smart view of things."

While watching Lila swat at Clint's hands, Yelena idly wondered what it would have been like to grow up with a father like Clint. It definitely would have been different from the three years she had spent in Ohio.

No empty boxes under the tree for Christmas. No posing for pictures to pretend they had been a family for years already. No fake famil- wait. What was she thinking?

The three years in Ohio were the best years of her life. The only time she was actually happy.

It was when things were perfect.

The empty boxes were perfect.

The pictures were perfect.

The family was perfect.

It was perfect.

And yet, Yelena seemed a little less sure of herself, and of Ohio, than she did just a few minutes ago.

Sorry for the abrupt ending. This chapter wasn't flowing well, and we couldn't figure out what was wrong. So I just ended it. Hopefully, the next chapter will go better. I'm also hoping that we'll get somewhat back into a posting schedule, but we'll see how that goes.