insecure

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angst season !!
barely any rinney.
make sure to follow for announcements and updates !!
-angst
-sh mentions
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finney's  pov

i hate the way i look.

i wish i looked like him.

i wish i was complemented for just sitting there.

my inner child begged.

begged for validation, attention, love

how was vance able to sit there and look pretty? our whole group fills him with complements on how "attractive" he was or how "mesmerizing" he was.

once in a while i would get complements, usually from robin.

but robin was also someone i wish i could be, the validation i got from him only healed me slowly.

them both were everyone's favorite.

they've been with the most people, talked to the most people.

i was jealous of the way people had hearts for them, loved them, adored them.

maybe that was just my inner child craving the attention never brought to me.

bullied for being ugly, having weird shaped eyes, my lazy done hair, my chapped lips.

i cried everyday, giving signs i needed help, cried internally until i felt nothing.

i watched as they sat looking pretty , i watched as everyone told them they looked good.

i ran. i ran to the bathroom. i ran to the stall filled with my tears

i was insecure , jealous, ugly, pathetic , and not the one anyone wanted.

the scars turning bright red as a life my pants up.

my calf filled of new and old scars.

5 i counted.

7 on the other.

i smudged my finger on them till they opened.

a made a "gah" sounds as i rub them.

gritting my teeth i looked up with my eyes shut.

as i watched the ceiling do circles till it was dark.

"FINNEY WAKE UP" someone cries

my eyes slowly opening up.

the black bandana.

"r-robin?" i mumble

my thoughts ran through my body to my scars

holding on to robin , i cry.

tears not falling out yet, holding them back as i hear running

the whole group looking down at me.

i throw my head to the left, tears falling across my nose , to my eyes, to my ears

my teeth still against each other.

"why finney" one of them ask.

"finney look at me" robin says, before slowly shaking me

my head can't move back.

"it hurts to much" i cry.

an
dw finney i also cry[thumbsup]

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