Student Of the Sorcerer Killer

Incorrect Quotes/Filler

Megumi: You're just being paranoid. Again.
Y/n: When have I been paranoid?
Megumi: Um, when you first met Nobara you thought She was an undercover cop...?
Y/n: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera!
Megumi: And last year you were sure Yuji was a mermaid!
Y/n: He hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?!
*Later, when Y/n's theory is proven wrong*
Megumi: Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Y/n: I still think Yuji is a mermaid.

Y/n: How late were you up last night?
Nobara & Yuji, in tandem: Me?
Y/n: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.
Y/n, to Megumi: You.

Megumi, watching Y/n & Yuji panic : What's going on?
Nobara: Y/n is having a midlife crisis and Yuji is just having a crisis.

Nobara: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems.
Megumi: Weight loss? Drink water.
Yuji: Clear skin? Drink water.
Y/n: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

Yuji, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Nobara, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Y/n, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Megumi, trembling: What are we playing

Yuji: Isn't it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Megumi: Plane tickets?
Nobara: Concert tickets?
Y/n: Prostitution?
Yuji, holding his broken frames: Glasses.

Megumi: Everyone, synchronize your watches.
Yuji: I don't know how to do that.
Nobara: I don't wear a watch.
Y/n: Time is a construct.

Megumi: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Yuji: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Nobara: I personally was created in a lab.
Y/n: I just straight up spawned lol.

Megumi: Dammit, Yuji!
Yuji: What?! It wasn't me!
Megumi: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Nobara!
Nobara: Not me either.
Megumi: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Y/n: *whistles*

Y/n: I trust Yuji.
Maki: You think he knows what he's doing?
Y/n: I wouldn't go that far.

Megumi: Maki isn't answering her phone
Y/n: I'll call
Megumi: Yuji and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Maki: Hello?

Yuji: Why are Y/n and Maki  sitting with their backs to each other?
Megumi: They had a fight.
Yuji: Then why are they holding hands?
Megumi: They get sad when they fight.

Y/n: Why is Nobara so sad?
Yuji: she took one of those "Which Character Are You?" quizzes
Y/n: And...?
Yuji: She got Megumi.

Y/n: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Nobara: Rude.
Megumi: That's fair.
Yuji: Not again.
Maki: Are you going to want this back?

Y/n: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
Nobara: This knife is actually a magic wand.
Yuji: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel.
Maki: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
Megumi: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

Megumi: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Nobara: ... Your what?
Megumi: My friends.
Yuji: Is he saying "friends"?
Maki: I think he's being sarcastic.
Y/n: No, no, no, this is delirium, he's cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Megumi! All of your friends are in this room.
Megumi: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

Y/n: You're a loose cannon, Nobara.
Nobara: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
Yuji: I think you play by your own rules.
Megumi: No way, She thinks rules were made to be broken.
Y/n: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.
Nobara: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Maki is a loose cannon.
Maki: *smashes a chair*

Y/n: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?
Megumi: Have everyone stand.
Yuji: Bring three more chairs!
Nobara: The most important ones can sit down.
Maki: Kill three.

Y/n: Nothing in life is free.
Nobara: Love is free!
Yuji: Adventure is free.
Megumi: Knowledge is free.
Maki: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

Y/n: Bye Maki! Bye Yuji! Bye Megumi! Bye Nobara! Bye Maki!
Yuji: You said 'bye Maki' twice.
Y/n: I like Maki.

Y/n: What does 'take out' mean?
Yuji: Food.
Nobara: Dating
Megumi: Murder
Maki: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Megumi: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Nobara: 'Prettiest Smile'
Yuji: 'Nicest Personality'
Maki: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Y/n: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Y/n, trying to convince Maki to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!
Nobara: And loud!
Yuji: And grumpy!
Megumi: And oblivious to reality!
Maki:

Y/n: Good morning.
Megumi: Good morning.
Yuji: Good morning.
Nobara: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.
Maki: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

Yuji: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.
Megumi: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Y/n: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Nobara: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
Maki: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!