Satin Birds

Chapter 12 - Maximus

I didn't expect a security officer at my door, I figured it was Apollo trying to sneak into my dorm room when the knob of my door jiggled. Probably to celebrate my return to California. He'd kill me for knowing it, but he gets lonely a lot. The guy hates being alone so whenever we--me and the twins--leave and go back to our home states, he spends all his time at our favorite guitar shop with the owner, Joe. Each year when we come back he throws parties, shoves instruments into our hands, and we take it. We enjoy it. Well, most of the time. But we always bear it because we know it means a lot to him.

But then I heard the man behind the door--I say "man" as a loose term, he's more of a leach. And I didn't recognize his voice which was odd as I make it a duty to know almost everyone. Normally being caught with a girl in my dorm or doing something I shouldn't be doing, wouldn't be a big deal. Not that I do either as I spend as little time here as I can. But if I did, I'd just apologize and most likely be let off the hook. Treat the staff with kindness and they'll treat you.

But I didn't recognize this man. I was unsure if he'd let me off the hook or if I'd need to bribe him.

"Leave if you're going to leave. It's your problem downstairs." I told her, relatively calm at this point because there was always a backup. Money. If I wasn't simply let go, I'd pay them off. So that eased my nerves as my father would genuinely have my neck for the smallest step out of line. And yet despite me saying these words to her, I didn't mean them. I didn't want her to go. Basically, I'm fucking dumb.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered right before she opened the dark, wooden door that's been mine since I first came here freshman year.

"I know." And I did. Wholeheartedly. She didn't need to say the words for me to know them. She's always been that way. But it doesn't change the fact that it felt like she chose this random guy who's clothes she was probably also wearing over me. The same random ass kid who got her into this mess over me! But who the hell am I to her? Nobody. No-fucking-body. And maybe that's what hurt worse. It boiled rage in my veins. I haven't been "nobody" in a long time. Not since I was fourteen and came to this school. I refuse to be ever again.

I ended up paying the leach of a security guard off. Some of these employees wouldn't give a rat's ass if we shot up drugs or threw raggers, as long as we gave them enough to keep silent. A part of me wonders what would happen if one of these students ended up dead because of it, what then? Od'd. My mothers death had been covered up to the high heavens, but I almost entirely believe that's what happened to her. Shed committed suicide that way. And so despite the lack of time I spent with her, I hate guards like this for her. The ones who'd turn a blind eye to the suffering of someone else for the right price.

After I payed him off, I'd walked back to the window--going to watch En do whatever dumb thing she was about to--when something soft hit my foot. Let's play a game, guess what it was! It was black and white, something you'd wear to a baseball game or when you don't want the sun to damage your retinas. Something a clueless girl would wear to tuck her hair in as a disguise when sneaking into an academy. You got it, the Carrie fuckers cap.

I picked it up, loathing the thing. Unsure of what to do with it but knowing what I wanted to do. Throw it out the same window we had to watch the prick be arrested out of, or burn it. Either would work. I stood in place, knowing I wasn't going to do that... most likely. And I looked up, out of my window, just able to see the cop car En was trying to get to roll away.

Did she make it in time? On one hand, I hope not. Let that prick suffer a bit, his parents will lawyer him up anyway. I hope she didn't save him. I hope her leaving me for that dude was in vain. But the other, softer, part of me hopes she did make it in time because I don't want her walking to her dorm alone at night. I don't want her walking with that prick either though,  but he's better than her being alone... Probably. I don't trust him, he might try to pull something. Hate his guts. I just can't win, can I?!