Satin Birds

Chapter 20 - Maximus

I had wanted to kiss her. Badly. To tell her everything would be alright. That sudden urge in me was all encompassing. I resisted it the best I could and, well... now here the fuck I am.

Truth be told, I know I shouldn't be doing this. It's not safe for me to be, because if word got back to my father I'd never see any of my friends, any of this world, and life I've created again. At the cost of losing the one thing I've worked and studied endlessly my whole life for. The company. So as much as I'd like to say fuck it all, I just cant. Though my impulsiveness clearly disagrees.

So here I am because I cant leave this fucking girl alone. Especially now that I've found whatever stung together sentence is haunting her in my pocket. She points to an empty, sheet-less bed.

"You sleep there." She says sternly. I grunt. Not to agree or disagree, but to make it understood that I heard her. Earlier I made it clear I will be investigating these letters, although I didn't say I'd be staying. If I'm to be honest though, maybe I like the sound of that a little too much.

I start to scour her room, looking for anything that could help to figure out who the stalker could be. A flare of protectiveness comes up in me at the thought. I ignore it.

I find a knife on En's dresser, which I suppose wouldn't be too odd for a girl living alone to have... except for the fact that that combined with the stalker and how it's the only thing on the dresser, screams something's up with it. Or maybe...

"Are you into knife play?" I ask her, more for my own amusement than anything.

"It depends." She replies, surprising me.

"On what?" I can't help but ask.

"Well I would say it depends on who I'm playing with," she says, taking a pause as she shuffles around behind me. "But, really, it just depends on if the knife is sharp or not. I'm not trying to be cut." She finishes and I laugh because that defeats the whole point of knife play.

I turn around to tease her further just to find she's taking her pants off. What the hell?

"What are you doing?" I ask. Partly in shock, partly turned on. The blood from my body all starts to rush in one direction at the sight of her.

"I don't sleep with pants on." She says shamelessly, which only serves to turn me on further. Is she playing another game with me? Alright, I like playing with her.

"Same." I say, taking my own pants off, knowing full well I've got a semi. Immediately she turns her back to me.

"What on earth are you doing?" She asks frantically. I can't help but laugh, oh how she doesn't see that's the exact thing she just did to me.

"Relax, beautiful, I'm not going to do anything to you." I laugh again. "Well... not unless you want me to." That's exactly something Apollo would say, the man clearly has it figured out because damn is it fun to. Yet still there's a voice in the back of my head warning "this is dangerous, don't do this." I continue anyway.

"You're a prick." She says indignantly. I laugh. Nobody but my friends had ever called me that. It's refreshing. Well, nobody but her. She used to. Again, like the motto for today I ignore the small ache in my chest at the thought.

"Only for you." I flirt. Why am I flirting? Shit. This is getting worse than I thought it would. I turn my attention back to looking for crap, if only to distract myself from her.

I attempt to think of anything to divert my attention, make it so that I don't turn around and... fuck if I know. Start a conversation? My thoughts are scattered. Suddenly I remembered something. Practice. Damn it. I missed an entire day worth of practice. We've only got a couple sessions worth of time left when everyone is available until we have to perform at the only venue that would even consider us. Damn it. I should be with the band, we said we would practice after this god forsaken dance club. But the thought of leaving right now doesn't feel like an option either.

I hear a familiar buzz on the floor, and I know it's coming from my pants pocket. Shit. I look down at the knife I'm still holding, deliberating. Knowing It's probably Apollo or another numskull, railing me for not being there right now. Then I make a choice. I set the knife down and I rush to pick up my pants and slide them over my legs.

"What are you doing?" Comes a soft, sleepy voice from En's side of the room.

"Leaving. What's it look like?" I ask like the asshole that I am, not even bothering to turn around. Or maybe I just choose not to because I understand how fragile my decision to leave is.

"But why?" Her voice comes closer. Don't fight me on this, En. Please. I mentally beg, which let me tell you, is real fucking useful. Sarcasm.

"I've um," I try to think of something, knowing how vulnerable the truth is to me. "Got a pet Cat to feed." I settle on and immediately want to slap myself. Technically I don't. Lindsey the stray is not my cat, but I do occasionally feed her. Not at nearly 10pm though.

"Oh." She replies.

"Yeah. So..." I check the message in my pocket to avoid having to look her in the eye, which is in fact Apollo asking if I've died. I turn around and unlock her door before leaving. Or at least attempting to before I feel a small hand grip my forearm. Again, I mentally beg her to let me go.

"Wait." She speaks. I close my eyes, praying, before meeting her gaze with a "What the fuck do you want from me, lady?" look. "Can I come?" She shocks me by asking. Ah. I stare at her, stunned. Before a small bit of the ice wrapped around my heart like a vice melts and I smile. I can't help but fucking smile.

"You don't wanna leave me?" I ask, tucking a strand of golden hair behind her ear. She dodges my eyes, looking at her hands, at her feet, before finally meeting my gaze. She feels vulnerable. I can see.

"No, I don't." She answers a question I never should have asked. And with it all the self control I had seemingly disintegrates like it was never really there. I crash my lips down onto hers. I kiss her, with all the words ill never be able to say. Her hand comes up to hold my jaw, as she kisses me back with the same intensity.

After a moment when it seems like my lungs are starting to burn, I pull my lips away, just enough to meet her eyes. Silver mixed with blue slowly opens to meet my gaze. We speak no words. Afraid to say what I really mean, I change the topic,

"Okay, come with me. Let me show you something." I know damn well we aren't going to feed a cat right now. I'll show her my world, however dumb that is. She giggles a raspy laugh, if for no other reason than just because.

"Okay." She whispers.