Sky and Tuck

Chapter 24

I'm A God Damn Mother Fuckin Family Man

Tuck

"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but oh my god you found the perfect house Tuck! Thank you, thank you, thank you! This will make everything so much easier!" Sky is giggling as she twirls around the big family room in the rental house we just toured, the kids are laughing at her and joining in on the dancing. Fuck, this is why I'm here, so I can see the looks on their faces, smiles, giggles and love.

"Babe, if you like the house this much, lets just buy it, then we'll always have a place when we need to come back to the city for work." It makes fuckin sense, if she likes this place, lets do the deal and not have to dick around with a temporary rental.

Sky pauses and gets a cagey look in her eyes, and then puts on a fake smile.

"Lets see how this goes first Tuck. I mean we don't even know if the house will work, and um, well, we do..."

I have to fucking interrupt her because now I know exactly what's running through her head.

"Baby, Sky, baby I love you. I don't love you for a month, a year or even a decade. I fucking love you for the rest of our lives, just like I've loved you since we were kids. I've always loved you, I always will fuckin love you. There is no trial run, no testing period. We're a family, all 4 of us. In a couple years or months, maybe there will be 5 or 6 of us. But we are always going to be a family." I grab on to her shoulders and pull her into my arms, chest to chest. My fingers gently lift her chin so she can look into my eyes.

"Sweet Sky, I know this is our life, our future, take all the time you need to feel confident in us. I will always be here with you, I'll wait for you to trust in me again. It's my fuckin fault that you feel you can't rely on me yet. And that is goddamn ok, take your time, rest your heart and mind until you're ready. I'm here baby, and I'm never leaving you again. I love you, and our kids too fuckin much to ever put you guys in pain again. No worries baby, take all the time you need, I fuckin love you forever."

She sighs and leans into me, I feel her heart racing against my chest, her breathing is rough, so I know she's teary or about to become so.

"I'm sorry Tuck, I'm trying, but I'm just not there yet. I want nothing more than to just fall into us and not worry, I'm trying, I promise you, I'll try as hard as I can, I want our family too.  I'm going to be brutally honest with you, I am completely and totally worried how everything will be when you go back into the studio.  You're heading back to all the temptations that were more important to you than your family.  I am scared that if I let you into my life too much, into the kids lives, and if you mess up, then we're going to be devestated."

"Baby, I told you, don't worry. I"m solid, take your time, I know ..."

"Eeeewwwww, they're going to kiss Nellie, stop it mommy and daddy, no kissing!" Colt is making pretend barf sounds as he and Nellie giggle around us.

"Ok guys, get used to the kissing cuz we're going to be kissing you!  Run for it before we catch you and kiss you all over!"

Tucker averts that potential land mine and we run after the kids, they're screaming and giggling, we're running and laughing after them.  Everything is fun and perfect now, but not one of my fears were put to rest.

Tuck starts grabbing their backpacks and my purse, hands my bag to me then leans in and whispers in my ear.

"They called us mommy and daddy, baby, I think I'm about to get them whatever the fuck they want, candy, pizza or ice cream for dinner, this is one of the fuckin best days of my life!  That doesn't mean I've forgotten what we started talking about before they interrupted.  We'll finish this conversation when we get back."