Sky and Tuck

Chapter 25

Well Damn, I Guess I'm In A Relationship, With Tucker The F*cker

Sky

"Tucker, this week has been amazing!  I can't believe you planned all this, the kids and I so appreciate it all!"  Smiling at Tucker, I take a moment to really think before I act.  Because I know that once I take this step, I have to follow through.  No chickening out, no copping out.  Right now I decide, we're going forward with a relationship, or we are strictly friends from now on.

"You've got to realize by this point, that I'm going to do whatever it takes to make you guys happy Sky.  Whether it's finding a good house for you guys to live in, or plan a vacation so you all can relax and enjoy.  I want what's best for you, and I'm gonna give it to you."  He sits back lazily, stretching out on the pool chair.  We've spent the entire week relaxing at home, playing on the beach, braving Disneyland, going to the movies, taking the kids roller skating, you name it, we've done it this week.  This has been a week where we've spent every day and night together, having fun and bonding as a family.  Whether we're making breakfast, or taking naps, the four of us have been together and learning to really know and count on each other.

"I see that, and I think now I'm ready to believe it.  I've watched you this past year Tuck.  You've worked hard at everything you've set your mind to.  Sobriety, mending your family, helping me with the kids, and being someone we can all believe and count on."  I take a deep breath, trying to center myself before my next sentence.

"In all honesty, I didn't have faith that you would follow through on everything you talked about.  When you came back from rehab, I was happy for you and your family, but I was not at all considering you as a potential partner.  You were too much of a wild card, I couldn't trust the kids hearts, or mine to you.  I know I told you time and again that we were never going to happen, and I meant it from the bottom of my heart.  I was never going to give you the opportunity into the kids hearts or mine."  Looking at Tuck, I see the stress in his eyes, the guilt and remorse.  He swings around on the chair so that he is facing me, his forearms resting on his legs, his fingers linked together.  Though his posture looks casual, his eyes are serious and staring straight into me.

"But at every turn, you've been there for us.  During the tears, and the plumbing leaks, the transition to daycare and the move to LA.  You even babysat while I went on a few dates."  We both smile at that because though he watched the kids, he made his displeasure completely clear.

"That was fuckin brutal Sky baby, watching those assholes pick you up and take you out, while I could only sit home and know that it was my fuckin fault they even got a chance with you.  As much as I wanted to fuckin pummel them, I was angrier at myself."  Shaking his head, he smiles a sad smile.

"I needed to prove to myself that I was giving other men a chance, that I wasn't keeping myself open to you.  I swear I wasn't trying to tease you Tucker, I really wanted to see if I was interested in another man.  I dated a bit, but I just didn't find someone that fit me like you do."  Well, there, now it's out.  I'm the sucker that let the idiot Tucker the f*cker back into my life and heart.

"Sky baby, it was always going to be us together.  It just took longer because I fucked up for so long, but we were destined to be.  It was a fucking tragedy that it took such a huge loss for me to wake up to the world, but I'm going to honor your family for as long as I live by taking care of you and the kids."  He stands up and pulls me to my feet, pulling me into his arms, he takes my face in his hands and drops his forehead to mine.  

"Baby, you guys are my world, I'm never going to dirty our lives up with the shit from my past.  I've talked to Kell and the guys, I told them that my priority will always be my family, and if I feel myself slipping, I'm leaving the band.  Nothing will ever pull me away from you again."  His voice is husky and rough with emotion, his touch is firm. 

 My heart is racing so fast i can hear my pulse thrumming in my ears.  Pulling back from him, I look up into his eyes, I want to trust him, but I'm so scared to.

"I know you're concerned about the studio and the upcoming tours.  I know you're not talking about it because you want to trust me, and you shouldn't have to be policing my behavior, looking over my shoulder to see if I'm doing right.  Baby, I'm doing that myself, so are Turo, Kell and the guys.  If for one moment any of them, or even fuckin me see me getting sketchy, then we all are gonna talk about it.  Not hide it, confront and deal with it.  If I fucked up in any way, I'd be out.  Out of a job, out of the band, back in rehab.  And I know for a god damn fact, when I got out of rehab, you and the kids would be gone.  And you'd be right to leave.  So because of that, I will never, ever fuckin ruin our family by shitting on my sobriety.  I love you guys more than anything, and I will not let you down again."  His lips crash down on mine, his breath ragged and his tongue deep and swirling in my mouth, our tongues dance and he lightly bites my lip.  I don't know if we've been kissing for a minute or an hour.  My skin is buzzing with desire, heart racing, my lips feel swollen and tender.  I don't know if I've ever felt a kiss like this before.

"Fuck baby, that was our first real kiss, not counting the one when we were kids and we were dared to hold our lips together for 5 seconds."  He smirks, because we both remember the dare that earned us both $5.00 from our friend Kyle.

"Well, I have to say, you've upped your game since then, nicely done Tucker.  Maybe you were worth the wait after all."  I smile at him, but he is looking at me with a serious and sad expression.

"Sky, I'm sorry I fucked us up, but thank you for letting us move forward.  I wouldn't fuckin blame you if you said no, and never let me into your heart again.  I'm fuckin grateful, and I'll spend every day until forever showing you how much I love you."

"Let's not keep going over the past Tuck, we're starting fresh and new.  I'm not going to keep bringing up my worries and fears, you know them, hell, you live with those fears too.  Let's keep heading to where we want, I don't want to get lost or caught up in the past.  That being said, I have to admit to you, I am nervous about the studio and tours, I do worry about the people and things that will be around you.  But I'm choosing to believe in you and us, I'm not going to check up on you, because I don't want to live my life looking over your shoulder.  If I did that then I wouldn't be trusting you, and it wouldn't be fair to either of us.  If I'm feeling concerned about something, I will bring it up with you, and if I don't like how I feel after that conversation, then we'll figure it out together.  That being said, you're right, if you mess up with either drugs, alcohol or another woman, we're over.  I can't risk the kids or my heart with that kind of hurt.  I hope it doesn't seem unfair, but the truth is, I AM trusting you to be sober, to be in our family.  I've already made the choice to believe in you, I will continue to believe in you.  Because Tucker Holloway, you are a good man, a man that I want to explore my life with."  I run my fingers through his hair and pull his face down to mine.

"I believe in you Tucker, I believe in us, I believe our family."