𝑰𝛮𝐷𝑰𝐺𝛮𝐴𝛮𝑇 ♡

29

"It's whatever you want I wanna, I wanna please you more. whatever, whatever turns you on, oh just let me know"
-Jhene Aiko
||Los Angeles, California📍||
Azaria Nicole Miller

I heard people say that talking to other people and therapy helps you heal whatever it is that you're through. but is that really true?

How could someone help you get through something they've never experienced ? how would they know what to do or say to make you feel better ? do they actually care or will they just label you as crazy and receive their checks

I don't believe that venting to a stranger would change anything i'm going through. it won't help me. talking about the things that make me angry won't make me less angry, if anything it would make me angrier at the thought of it. my attitude been like this even before I went to jail, I wasn't as damaged but I was still Azaria

I don't think I would ever be strong enough to not go off when I feel even slightly disrespected. I don't believe a stranger can help me be strong enough to not react the way I do in situations, and I definitely don't think Mr Taylor will be the guy to do that

"Ms Miller" The door of his office opens and he walks in interrupting me from my thoughts while I looking at the different flyers on his walls; I roll my eyes tapping my acrylics against the chair

He sat down in front of me and I darted my eyes to him

"I heard you weren't that thrilled to be coming back"

"Sounds accurate" I shrugged

"Why is that?"

"I don't like you" I crossed my arms answering almost immediately

"You don't even know me yet"

"Exactly and I don't wanna get to" I snapped unintentionally "then you wanna know all of this about me but I can't know nothing about you? I don't like it nor do I trust it so don't think just because i'm here that i'm gonna cooperate because guess what? i'm not. Mrs B sent me here and she lucky I respect her or I would've been at home smoking a blunt right now" I started ranting, not caring that he stood up and went to grab something. when I finished he didn't reply, he just grabs something out of his mini fridge

He comes back to sit down with a container of ice cream in his hand and shakes the container side to side before sitting it down on the table in front of me with a spoon

"Well I tried to tell you about myself but you didn't believe me" He continues smiling

"I don't" I agreed and shrugged

"Why?"

"You're always smiling, that shit ain't even normal. imagine me telling you that I got anger issues but my smile never drops, you don't look angry to me. you just tryna relate to me to get me to speak"

"I smile because I deserve to. smiling produces my positive feelings to balance out and manage the unpleasant ones" He explains and I shrug again

"I smile when there's a reason to smile"

"There's always a reason to smile kid" He says and I stay silent "you wanna know something about me?" He asks