January to April, 2020
JANUARY
Read in paper about worrisome new respiratory illness in China. Related to SARS and MERS. Called SMEARS. Ew.
FEBRUARY
SMEARS spreading around the world. New plan to protect the United States from this deadly scourge: No one from China allowed in... unless they are U.S. citizens. Feel safer already. Wait. What?
MARCH 12th
OMG, the NBA suspended the season because of COVID (the disease formerly known as SMEARS)! It's the end of the world! Wait, the B is for basketball? I thought it was for books. Never mind.
MARCH 13th
WHO declares COVID a pandemic. Apparently they wanted to see what the NBA would do before making it official.
MARCH 21st
Two weeks ago, only 1,500 cases of COVID in U.S. Now over 13,000. People going crazy. Can't get bottled water as survivalists prepare for apocalypse. No Purell anywhere—used up by people cleaning bubble wrap from Amazon packages. Trying not to succumb to hysteria, but buying case of Jiffy Pop just to be safe.
MARCH 26th
"Stay at home" order just issued! Starts tomorrow! Rush to Trader Joe's to pick up food to last til Easter. Place is packed. OMG... freezer section completely empty! Never in my first-world life have I seen such a thing. Wait! There's one bag of fish. Grab it at same time as thirty-something woman in yoga pants. Tug-of-war ensues. I lose! [Bleep]! Wait. I don't even like fish.
APRIL 4th
After weeks of telling us not to wear masks, now CDC says we should. Provide video on how to make your own with materials found around house. None of which we have. But do have duct tape. Let's see how it works... OMG! I can't breathe! That's a symptom of COVID! PANIC! Then Jules pulls tape off my nose. Whew! TG for GFs!
ESTÁS LEYENDO
OMG: A Journal of the Pandemic Year(s)
HumorIt's 2020 and the pandemic has hit! OMG! If you're reading this, you've survived. So far. Now you need a laugh, or two, or seventeen. You need OMG. Join our hapless hero as she copes with the global impact of COFEVE-19, faces off monoliths and the T...
