Anxiety

[o3]

*AUTHORS NOTE*

Hello everyone!!! Long time no see!!

GIVE ME COMMENTS. I NEED THEM TO SURVIVE AND TO WRITE. Thank you (:

This chapter is pretty cute, I think y'all will enjoy it. You deserve it after all the heartache I put you through.

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It was so nice to be with them again, even if we were just in the car together. Grey still has not let either of us drive. Whenever he needed to sleep, which we had to force him to do, he would pull over at a rest stop and take a nap for a few hours. He needed to be holding both mine and Ryker's hand in order to sleep. Every time, he would jolt awake, and we would have to calm him down before he was okay again.

We were driving through Maryland when I finally mustered up the courage to tell them about Edon. And also the fact that she was back and telling me to tell them; she can be really bossy sometimes.

I was fiddling with my thumbs for the past hour, trying to find out the best way to tell them. Did they know this whole time, and did they help my parents suppress Edon? No, there's no way they would do that to me; they would have said something, I'm sure of it.

"Guys..." I started and took a deep breath.

Squeeze squeeze squeeze.

My eyes clenched shut, confused between a shiver of disgust and a wave of warmth. He tried to replace my boys and every little thing they did with him, and I have to remind myself that they're not him. An action that used to bring me great comfort now gives me extreme anxiety.

"I found out..." I took another deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. "I found out that my, um... my anxiety meds...aren't really anxiety meds." I finally got out. Relief flooded through me as Edon praised me for starting the conversation.

That's just the first step, and it's always the hardest. You got this.

"What does that mean? How did you find out?" Grey asked, his grip tightening on the steering wheel again. He had just loosened his grip on it back in Virginia, now the death grip is back.

"They're actually suppressants. When I first got there, I didn't take my meds because I didn't have any, and I started to hear this voice in my head. I thought it was just my anxiety so I told T-...I told him about it and he got me my meds again. But when I was locked in the cage, they weren't giving me a high enough dose and my wolf slipped through to tell me to stop taking them. So I did, and after a few days, she was back and she explained everything to me."

A weight had been lifted off my chest, and I could finally breathe for the first time in a while.

But the tightening of their grip on my hand brought me back from my bliss. I could feel their anger pulsing around us, and it made the anxiety swell inside me. I couldn't handle their anger, I don't know what they'll do to me in their rage. They could hit me, or pull me over their lap and spank me until I'm bleeding, or crash the car out of pure spite, or spew these awful words that dig deep inside and pull at me like barbs, or they c-

They are not him. Edon cut in.

They are not him, they are not him, they are not him.

Ryker's thumbs brushed against my cheeks, wiping away the tears I didn't know I had shed.

"Grey, relax, we're scaring her," he whispered, and instantly the angry waves I felt barreling through me were gone. Grey brushed his thumb back and forth on the back of my hand, sending waves of calm through me with each stroke. I tried to relax and soak in the comfort they were giving, but I couldn't stop my hands from shaking. I cried even more, no longer in control of myself.