sukhoon : Willing

Chapter 17

Hyunsuk opened his eyes slowly, he was feeling dizzy from the hangover. He got up and reaching for his phone. He looked at the time and it was 9 in the morning. He assumed that aside from Doyoung everyone might be asleep.

He then started walking to the bathroom to take a shower when he saw some pills and a note on the table. Hyunsuk smiled looking at them because he knew it was from no other than Jihoon.

Coming out of the bathroom feeling all refreshed he grabbed his phone sitting on the side of the bed. He then decided to prepare breakfast for all four of them in the dorm, he got to take his medicine too. He texted Yedam and Doyoung first of they would have breakfast. Both of them agreed, Doyoung was out giving his test so he was coming soon, Yedam was in his room as well as Jihoon.

Thinking about Jihoon, Hyunsuk also texted the younger. It was now more than three minutes and the latter still didn't reply. Hyunsuk was taking out ingredients as well as waiting for the reply.

Is he still sleeping? He might be tired because of me...

Hyunsuk thought and decided to go and ask Jihoon himself by going to his room. Though Hyunsuk didn't remember what happened after he got drunk but he knew one thing for sure, it was Jihoon who must have brought him back to the dorm, as all he remembers last was Jihoon coming to him when Hyunsuk called him, poor Hyunsuk couldn't help himself, he was jealous of his own dongsaeng Mashiho. He couldn't help it he hated to see Jihoon with someone else other than him.

Stupid Hyunsuk! Why do you have to be so worked up for nothing!? I just wish didn't say or do anything wierd....

Hyunsuk thought to himself as he made his way to Jihoon's room. He came close and about to knock when he heard Jihoon talking to someone and then heard that someone's voice, it was Mashiho.

Hyung are you really going to do that? What about Hyunsuk hyung?

I don't care about anything.. I am not the Jihoon you all knew before. I am not hurting myself again, I am done feeling heartbroken and doing nothing..I am over...

Hyunsuk heart clenched, he hated himself. He knew one day Jihoon will get over him, will not care about him and hate him, like he wanted, like he wished back then. But now that he heard it, it broke him into pieces. All he could think was regret and devastation on his eyes. His eyes felt numb as tears started flowing down his cheeks. He was sad but he couldn't blame Jihoon for this, it was his doing. The one who started this was Hyunsuk himself. Even though he wants Jihoon to care for him, he can't force it not now, not anymore. His body was weak, as he struggled standing properly, he was too busy crying his eye balls out that he forgot to even stand straight. He went back to the kitchen not wanting to hear anymore of the conversation.

He held himself back, he told himself to not cry and that it's all Hyunsuk's fate and it was meant to be happen one day. He shouldn't imagine scenarios impossible for him and Jihoon to be together as their past is messed up. He loved him but he couldn't force the younger to feel so too. It was his own choice and if he decides to get over Hyunsuk, he was fine with it if it meant good for Jihoon, as he have given Jihoon enough hatred and sadness for the past two years.

Hyunsuk rubbed his last drop of tears from his eyes as he continued making breakfast.

I am home!

Doyoung said, as he met up with Hyunsuk standing on the kitchen cutting vegetables and a just woken up Yedam, yawning.

Oh Doyoungah, how was your test?

It was great! I think I'll get good grades!

Really?! I am so proud of you!!

Hyunsuk said patting his head.
Yedam was sitting beside them looking at his phone when his eyes went on Hyunsuk.