𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬. 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰-𝐈𝐭-𝐀𝐥𝐥 | South Park x Reader

❝𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫❞

"Good morning." As you get inside your kitchen you greet your parents, you sat at the table your dad already sat at, coffee in his hand and watching TV. You placed your backpack by your chair.

"Good morning!" Your parents greeted you back, your mother with a smile as she placed a plate of pancakes and a glass of juice in front of you.

"A new vigilante took to the streets last night and has apparently single-handedly taken down the Famboni crime family. Here with more is a midget in a bikini." The news was on tv.

You munched on your breakfast as you listened to the news report.

"Tom, I'm standing outside the Buga De Faggoncini where the vigilante declared war on crime in South Park." A very short man in a pink bikini spoke as stood in front of the restaurant, microphone in hand.

"They actually hired a midget to do this?" Your father incredulously said, not believing his eyes.

"You'd think after living here for as long as we did we'd get used to seeing this sort of things," your mother sat at the table too, sipping on her usual caffè macchiato, "but no. Even the news reports are weird here."

"Security-camera footage showed a young person farting in people's faces, on their balls - it was just terrifying."

"The fact that that wasn't the weirdest thing I've heard on the news here this week is mildly concerning." Commented your mother, laughing, to which you and your father just nodded with a chuckle.

'Looks like Dovah made a reputation for himself, uh?'

"The kid's a menace, if you ask me. How long before he or she kills an innocent person? How long before Daredevil becomes the Punisher?" the interviewed man looked to the side, and then exclaimed, "Huh? Three seasons? THREE SEASONS!"

"Ah, yes. A kid killing people with farts. Seems logical." sarcastically said your father.

"Police called to the scene found a treasure trove of illegal items that they claim might tie the Italian restaurant to a larger crime syndicate. This might be just the tip of the iceberg." The midget explained.

"Certainly chilling stuff and, there were reports the vigilante possibly had two sidekicks?" Asked the presenter

"There was thought to be a sidekick, Tom, but further investigation showed it was just some little twerp with diabetes." started the reporter, which kinda hurt because damn, poor Scott, "There also was a girl helping the vigilante and the diabetic kid, but she was apparently 'too scary' for the police to want to investigate on her, so we have no clue who she is."

'I... Alright, then.'

"Thanks, midget, and of course, the question on everyone's minds now... WHO IS the Farting Vigilante?"

"Y/N." You felt a chill go through your spine at your parent's synchronized call of your name.

"Yeeesss?" You slowly turned around with a forced smile on your face.

"What were you doing last night?" Asked your mother.

"I was-"

"Beating Italians up?" Interrupted your father.

"I mean-"

"You were, weren't you?" They asked at the same time.

"...Yeah." You knew they already knew, so you just gave up and admitted it.

"Put on a mask next time, for god's sake. Didn't we teach you anything?" Your father facepalmed.

"We don't mind if you want to fight mafia families or want to end civilization as we know it, just wear a mask next time, alright sweetie?" Continued your mom.