This Girl Is A Delinquent!, Vol. 3

Chapter 33: Out To Sea

The mechanical sound of the dormitory door falling shut echoed in the sparsely occupied hallway as Ken left his room and zipped up his burgundy jacket. It was the weekend before the new trimester began and the halls would be packed with returning students soon, he thought as he retrieved his phone from his pocket. Staring at his phone he walked towards the stairwell and read the message on the screen for the hundredth time.
I'll be back Saturday Morning. Let's talk.
A sole text from Sonya stared back at him as he sauntered forward. It was the first time he had heard from her since he left her house a month ago and the cause for his sleeplessness the past few days. His attempts to reply were met with silence and he wondered what time, or even where, they would meet at. His questions would find an answer as his stride carried him to the entrance of the dormitory and he pushed the doors open.
Lukewarm air washed over him as the unmistakable glimmer of flaxen hair drew his attention. Drawn back into pigtails, the strands fluttered gently in the breeze as a familiar pair of emerald eyes met his. Without thinking, Ken rushed forward in a sprint that came to a stop within arms reach of the girl.
“Hey…”
A meek voice came from her lips as Ken examined her face. There was to be no doubt, this was Sonya in the flesh. Assured that he wasn't dreaming, Ken stepped closer and pulled her into an embrace. Sonya's back tensed at the surprise, but she relaxed with each passing second as Ken's whisper filled her ear.
“You can do whatever you want to me; hate me, yell at me, never talk to me again. But… Please don’t hurt yourself ever again. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you.”
His tone was muted, yet serious in a way that Sonya had never heard him speak before. However, his concern reached her and made her respond firmly.
“Okay. I won’t do it again. I promise.”
She could feel his body relax against hers and the rhythm of his heartbeat caused her to pause for a moment before speaking.
“Could you let me go? People are starting to look…”
The shuffling sounds of students nearby caught Ken's attention as he separated from Sonya. Her face shared a similar rosy hue with his as Ken put space between them and awkwardly called out.
“Yeah. S-Sorry. So… Uh… Where did you want to go?”
“Let’s head to the train station. I wanted to go somewhere more private so we could talk.”
“Sounds good to me.”
With that, the two set off in a brisk pace away from the dorm. The embarrassment from before made it seem like things were back to normal. Yet, Ken knew that it was just his own wishful thinking. There was a chasm between the two that a single embrace would not solve. Calming his heart, he glanced over at his underclassman and found his gaze lingering. To him, Sonya seemed different in more ways than one. The most obvious being her attire.
In his rush to meet her, he hadn't noticed that she wasn't wearing her usual eye-catching outfit. Instead, she wore a black zip up jacket with long sleeves and a hood. A pink undershirt peeked through from beneath the zipper as she tucked her hands in the jacket pockets for warmth. Ken's eyes moved lower and he saw that she was wearing a dark blue skirt made of a coarse material, possibly denim, and that her black stockings now had horizontal lime green stripes.
For a second, Ken caught himself thinking that she actually looked like a proper delinquent. The new look was less childish than her usual clothes, but still managed to keep a figment of the style. His stolen glances had now given way to a continuous stare. This version of Sonya was cute as well, he mused as the girl's eyes darted up to meet his. While he couldn't quite tell if she was angry or embarrassed, Ken swiftly turned his head away from her as they walked in silence.

A short and quiet train ride brought them to the public side of the island and Ken followed Sonya's lead and kept pace alongside her. Traveling along the sidewalk, they eventually made their way down to the beachfront. It was then that Sonya stopped in place with Ken stumbling to do the same. She looked towards the ocean and leaned her arms against a protective railing that separated them from the sands below.
The view was picturesque. Swirls of violet and cerulean welcomed the morning sun from beyond the horizon as waves cascaded against the beach creating a dense foam. The sounds of birds in the distance lightly danced against the soft churn of the sea as Ken viewed the area. Familiarity struck him as he saw a decrepit old dock nearby and had a sudden recollection.
“This place…”
“It’s where you rescued me before. Even though you got hurt here… I still like to look out and watch the sea from here.”
Not turning to face him as she finished answering, Sonya calmly took a breath of the brine infused air. Watching her with great interest, Ken tried to keep the conversation going with small talk.
“I don’t mind at all. They are actually supposed to rebuild it this spring. It might be ready by the summer, you know?”
His words floated into the air as if riding the gusts of wind arriving from abroad. Sonya's silence made him continue in an earnest tone.
“We could all visit it together.”
“That would be nice.”
Shaking her head slightly, Sonya seemed to snap out of whatever trance the scenery had put her under. Ken wondered what was on her mind, but decided not to push his burning inquiries onto her.
“So… Your new clothes are nice. I think they suit you.”
“T-Thanks. I’ve been trying a lot of new things. Mommy-Eh… Mom took me to Paris again and bought me way too much. Most of my time off was spent traveling and spending time with her.”
Taken aback by the compliment, Sonya answered quickly while the sunlight overhead warmed her face and Ken continued.
“So you two are getting along now?”
“Yeah. It feels like she's trying extra hard. So, I figured that I should let her buy me a few things. Hehe…"
Her joke made Ken smile. Yet, Sonya's shoulders seemed to tense as a sense of foreboding weighed on the atmosphere. After a few breaths, she started to speak in a soft tone.
"We started going to therapy together. I'm… I'm starting to realize that I’m not alone with my feelings.”
Revealing her face to Ken, Sonya had a complicated expression that hinted of sadness forced behind a calm smile.
“You know that he died, right? My daddy?”
The air between them fell still as Sonya posed the question. Hearing her broach the subject openly made Ken feel a panic of guilt as he tried to respond.
“I did find out about that, yes. I’m sorry for not realizing it sooner-”
“No. No more apologies. That's not why I called you out here. You’ve done more than enough to help me. You shouldn’t feel sorry.”
Meeting his eyes with a fierce look, Sonya made her intentions clear as she continued.
“It’s been nice to be able to talk about it so freely with mom and now you. For the first time, I feel like I can be honest. I guess I have you to thank for that.”
“You don’t-”
“Thank you, Ken. From the bottom of my heart. I mean it.”
Not giving him any room to interject, Sonya locked eyes with Ken. On her face a brilliant smile that seemed both hesitant and relieved. He had seen her smile on various occasions, yet this one seemed more sincere. Ken's heart began to race as he tried to form words. However, he only managed to softly whisper her name as Sonya continued.
“Sonya…”
“You’ve been so nice to me. Everyone has and I feel like I should thank each and every one of you. Not because I have to because of some weird obligation, but because I want to. I’m so lucky to have great friends.”
The genuine gratitude made Ken's chest tighten as he finally managed to form a reply. Emulating the smile in front of him, he accepted her appreciation with some of his own.
“Then, I guess all I can say is that you’re very welcome. I can thank you too for being a good friend to me.”
As they grew quiet, Ken stayed captivated by Sonya's expression. This smile, he thought, was the real Sonya after all. Caught up in the moment, he decided that it was time for him to be honest as well.
“Listen, there’s something that’s been on my mind… Something that I took way too long trying to figure out how to say. Now that you’re here with me, I need to say it to you properly.”
Clenching his fists, Ken glanced to the ground for a split second to gather his resolve and began to speak.
“Sonya-”
“Ken. I can’t let you do whatever stupid thing you are about to do.”
“Huh?”
With a searing glare, Sonya raised her hand to silence him.
“I already know what you’re going to say and I can’t reciprocate those feelings.”
The sounds of the waves crashing against the frame of the dock filled the air as Ken watched Sonya with a careful gaze. Decidedly, Sonya exhaled through her nose and spoke once more.
“You always see the good in me. You try so hard to make me feel better and I haven’t even begun to repay that favor, but I can’t let you throw away your own happiness for me. For so long, I had an empty void inside me that tried to eat any happiness that was unfortunate enough to cross my path. I was so unhappy that I tried to make everyone as sad as I was. Then you came along and you told me that you would be my first friend. You told me about dreams and even said that I was a girl and called me… cute… and so many other wonderful things. Words I would never have used to describe myself were suddenly being handed to me. I felt… Normal.”
Despite her serious tone, Sonya's voice cracked slightly as she laid her feelings bare.
“You helped me build a foundation and even find a dream I could believe in. My dream is to bring my family back together and truly find happiness while becoming a better person. It might be a silly dream, but it’s mine. Can you believe it? I never would have been able to do it without your help. But… Even now, I have the small voice in me that tells me I’m awful or stupid. I still cry when it rains and I… I miss my daddy so much.”
Even with the distance between them, Ken could see that Sonya's eyes were misty. Yet, he couldn't interrupt. She was trying so hard for his sake and he felt that he owed it to her to listen. Lowering her hands to her sides, Sonya finished her thoughts.
“Sometimes I just wish I could see myself the way you see me… Maybe someday I’ll be able to, but I can’t make you wait for me while I try to figure things out. I still want to be your friend more than anything… But, I can’t be more than that. So I have to reject your feelings.”
Lowering her shoulders as if a great weight was settling on them, Sonya cleared her throat and looked to Ken for a response. She wondered if she had been clear enough as she watched him adjust his glasses before calling out to her in a calm voice.
“Well, after hearing all that… I have no choice, I guess… I reject your rejection.”
His tone was flat and Sonya felt her blood boil as she took his remark as a form of sarcasm. Stomping her foot loudly against the sidewalk, she let out a vengeful yell.
“WHAT! You can’t do that you idiot weasel! I was seriously speaking from my heart and you just want to make jokes!”
“I’m not joking.”
With the same tone in his voice, Ken reaffirmed his stance causing Sonya to look at him with wide eyes.
“You describe me as some sort of perfect person that has always supported you, but you’ve supported me too. I was just a quiet kid with a book that no one was ever going to read. You forced me to start an entire club based on my interests and I stopped being stagnant as a writer. You’re loud, obnoxious, and forceful and that’s exactly what I needed to move forward. Returning that favor to you never seemed like a burden to me. So please, don’t think that this was a one sided friendship. You push me to be better and you see the good in me too.”
Having had days to consider her words, Sonya was surprised that Ken was able to battle her points so eloquently. It was clear that he was being truthful and she found herself filled with conflicting emotions. Due to recent events she had considered their relationship unbalanced, but here he was telling her that, after everything, he needed her. As Sonya felt a warmth move behind her eyes, her lips moved before she could stop them.
“When I first saw your book, I was amazed. You took what others would see as nightmares and turned them into something interesting and enjoyable. It made me think that my nightmares could be defeated…”
The nostalgia of their time together was wearing on her, but she was quickly reminded of her intentions in asking Ken to meet with her. It was not time to lose focus, she thought as she called out to him again.
“But, I haven’t been able to get there yet and you shouldn’t have to put up with-”
“You’re always so stubborn. Can’t you see? You were stuck in the past and now you’re aimed at the future. You think that no one can appreciate you because you aren’t perfect yet. Sonya is Sonya, even the intermediate version of her that hasn't figured everything out yet. If finding happiness and being better is your dream, I want to be there to help you. We can both help each other reach our goals. The part of you that smiles while she learns and grows is the part I treasure most. It’s always fun when we do things together.”
Each sentence fired from Ken as he spoke the words that were forming in his heart. He could tell that Sonya had already decided her feelings. However, even if that was the case, he knew he couldn't walk away yet. Condensed in the depths of his heart was a burning so intense, it threatened to dissolve him if he tried to contain it. And so, with a smile, Ken spoke.
“When we first met, you told me that you were a delinquent that takes what she wants when she wants, right? Well, if I’ve been an influence on you, then you’ve been an influence on me too. At this point, I’ve broken enough school rules that I’m a delinquent too. And what I want is you, Sonya. I love you.”
The final sentence came so effortlessly that Sonya was frozen in place by the weight of intentions behind it. Ken kept his smile as he met her eyes and, for a few seconds, time seemed to stand still. He wasn't sure what Sonya would say. Nonetheless, he was satisfied that he had clearly stated his feelings. As he exhaled in solace, a shaky voice caught him off guard and made his spine full with ice.
“Y-You weren’t supposed to say it… sniff… You were supposed to give up… You idiot…”
Large tears streamed down Sonya's cheeks as she berated him. Budding feelings of guilt made his stomach ache as Ken watched her quaver in place. However, he knew that he couldn't take back his words nor did he want to.
“I can't do that. I meant what I said.”
“D-Dummy! You don’t want to be with me. I’m messy, rude, and I’ll be mean to you.”
Seeing Sonya in such a childish state made him want to chuckle. This side of her had its charms too, he thought as he replied.
“I’m quiet, easily annoyed, and pretty rude myself. I think your arguments are getting weaker, Sonya.”
“Shut up!"
Almost spitting the words, Sonya folded her arms. Letting him down was supposed to be easy and now her heart wasn't sure. Her decisiveness had melted when faced with the intense heat now residing in her chest. Her heart was racing and her legs felt wobbly. Hearing him profess his love so easily had sent her spiraling as her cheeks turned crimson red. Faced with unbearable sadness, she never allowed herself the luxury of crying and now her cheeks were stained. As she wondered why, she realized that the feelings in her heart weren't sad in the least. Instead, the sensation she found there made her anxiously call out.
"What if I just decide to run away?”
Offering the question, she looked at Ken with frantic eyes. A complicated mixture of fear and excitement caused shivers to inch down her spine. Yet, even with the maelstrom of emotions swirling in her chest, a blithe expression crept across her face. It was faint but Ken was sure that he saw it. If it was any indication of Sonya's true feelings, then he had to act. Inhaling deeply, he eyed Sonya carefully and replied in a nonchalant tone.
“Well… Let’s find out. If you’re standing there after I count to three, I’m going to kiss you.”
With the gamble made, any chance of calming down evaporated in front of Sonya’s eyes. Her eyes darted to check for any signs of bluffing, but she knew that Ken wasn’t the type of person that would joke about something so serious. Her thoughts swirled but she made no effort to rebuke him nor move. It wasn’t until Ken took a step forward that she finally spoke.
“W-What! You can’t-”
“One.”
“Just wait a minute… I need time to prepare-”
“Two.”
“Ehhhh!”
As Ken counted, she went over all the reasons that she should run. Yet, she stayed firmly planted in place. As the numbers dwindled, she clenched her eyes shut and grabbed at the hem of her skirt. Gently pursing her lips, she realized that it wasn’t fear that held her in place, but desire. Acknowledging her decision, she let her mind go blank. Noticing her brace in anticipation, Ken let a soft laugh slip and he closed the short distance between them.
“Haha, Three.”
The pounding of his heart caused his hands to shake slightly as he wrapped Sonya in his embrace. In spite of his inexperience, he leaned his head in and was briefly surprised at the chilly touch of Sonya’s lips. Holding her steady, warmth slowly permeated between them as they grew accustomed to the newfound closeness. Sonya felt the firmness of Ken’s forearm cradling her back as thin strands of her hair blew against his face. She wanted to open her eyes, but was afraid of causing the moment to end. Enticed by the sweet scent engulfing him, Ken obliged her and held her close.
As the raging feelings of passion subsided, they both opened their eyes and slowly parted their lips. Still clinging to one another, Sonya was the first to speak.
“My first kiss… It tastes like salt. The sea air is mixing with my tears.”
“Is it that bad?”
Her tone sounded aloof and Ken was concerned that he had done something wrong. However, Sonya laid his fears to rest as her vibrant green eyes pleaded against him.
“No. I’m so unbelievably happy right now. Please, again.”
Giving into her demands, Ken leaned his head forward once more. This time the kiss came naturally and they both narrowed their eyes but kept them open. Nestling their bodies together, their beating of their hearts culminated in a crescendo that served as a sign of their feelings for one another. In this moment they were only thinking of one another and all of the past strife seemed so far away. While the kiss was fleeting, the afterglow remained as they parted once more.
"I love you, Sonya."
The words sprung forth again with the same sincerity behind them. This was the girl that had entered his life in the most unexpected of ways. She was the type of girl who was headstrong, but always tried to do what was right. The type of girl that would hold your hand in the hospital until she was forced to rest for her own good. Her sense of responsibility was awe inspiring and Ken knew that she was someone that he could no longer do without. As he anchored his hazel eyes onto Sonya’s, she buried her face into his jacket and wiped the tears that she now knew were caused by happiness from her eyes. Resting her head against his chest, she spoke through bated breaths.
"I… Love you too."
She could no longer run from her feelings. Once again, Ken had ignored her attempts to shoulder everything and offered to support her. That is who he is, she thought. He could be distant at first, but always ready to help when things got too tough. He would run out in a storm just to make sure a friend was safe. Her very first friend was always by her side and had introduced her to a world much larger than the one she had known. She would have been eternally grateful, but the only thing he wanted in return was her smile.
And so, Sonya upturned her gaze and presented her most dazzling smile yet to the source of the joy bursting within her. A most precious prize that Ken greedily accepted as he deepened his embrace. They remained intertwined with one another as the sun moved across the sky and the ever changing waters plowed against the sands. Wicking away at the beachfront as time passed them by.

Some time later, after the intensity of the situation had faded and embarrassment set in. Ken gave Sonya a reprieve while he wandered to a nearby vending machine. Returning with two bottles of water, he passed one to her before taking his place next to her on one of the benches that peppered the walkway along the beach. As they quietly took small sips, Ken recalled something and leaned closer to Sonya to speak.
“Now I can finally tell you what I was trying to tell you before when you interrupted me.”
His close proximity combined with his words made Sonya flinch. Catching herself, she considered his words carefully. The color left her face as she quickly realized that she had interrupted him when she thought he was about to confess his feelings.
“Huh? I thought you were going to ask me out! If you weren't going to, why didn’t you stop me!”
“You were being cutely obstinate, so I wanted to see what you were going to say.”
“You jerk!”
Her face became flushed at being referred to as cute and she was angry at how brazen Ken was acting. As she pouted, Ken waved his hands defensively to try and calm her down.
“Don’t be like that, I was going to tell you how I felt eventually, but first I wanted to apologize for what I said to you that day in my room. I lashed out in anger and tried to make you into someone you’re not. It wasn’t right.”
Straightening her posture, Sonya turned to face Ken with a pensive expression.
“I’m sorry too. I should have never insulted your writing. I was angry too. I know how much it means to you.”
“It didn’t help that the publishers totally roasted me.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know…”
Lowering her head, Sonya heard the revelation and let a scowl form on her lips. Seeing her depressive state, Ken stood and wildly tried to console her.
“Don’t be sad! I never told anyone. I was… ashamed. They said that I could resubmit my chapters this year after I edit them.”
Raising her head to look at him, Sonya’s eyes went wide as she jumped to her feet and announced.
“Then what are we doing just standing around! We should start right away! Let’s go!”
Scampering behind him, she pushed her hands against his back and pushed her weight into him.
“You really do get into a frenzy when you get worked up.”
“Yeah, yeah. Move it!”
Acquiescing, Ken took a few steps forward and let Sonya push him for a bit. After a few seconds, she rejoined his side as Ken looked up in thought.
“Hey, Sonya, can I ask one more question before we go?”
“Huh? I guess so, but I think we talked about everything already.”
Sonya wore a quizzical look as she touched her chin with an outstretched finger and Ken continued his explanation.
“So we walked down here together and your original plan was to dash any hope I had of dating you, right?”
“Y-Yeah… I changed my mind, so what?”
“I understand that, but were you just planning for us to walk back together after that? Your house is in the same direction. Seems kinda cruel.”
Faced with the obvious hole in her plan, Sonya pursed her lips as she retorted in embarrassment.
“I hadn’t thought that far ahead! You’re just wasting time right now, so be quiet and walk!”
Quickening her pace, she marched forward adamantly, leaving Ken behind. However, he sprinted to catch up to her and took her hand without warning. Deftly lacing his fingers with hers, he waited to see Sonya’s reaction. Instead she firmly gripped his hand and nervously quipped.
“I-It’s about time.”
Despite her prickly remark, Ken could see that she was hiding a calm smile as her eyes stayed focused ahead. Not planning this outcome, they didn’t know what the next trimester had in store or how their friends would react. Yet, one thing was assured, they would take the next steps together. For now, that was more than enough to keep their shared smiles shining against the murky waters of uncertainty.