Those Thirteen Letters.

Memories Never Die.

What are memories, may be stories between you and I or my broken confessions to the moon or my unfinished stories but in all of them she is the only constant, she is the only possession my dreams dare to hold.A failed heart surrenders to a million emotions  but the heart in love surrenders to the beloved only.

Maria the girl I saw, I had fallen in love with, yet I failed to confess it to her, why ?, you all must be thinking the answer is simple I was afraid, her no was easy for me to bear, but I didn't wanted my story to turn into a laughable gossip. Many out of you reading will agree that this is one of the biggest fears of a young heart.Should we call it a one sided love where one fails to express his own feelings,may be not you can't have a claim on something which you fail to declare to be your own,you have to admit it before it walks away.Love never teaches you to be timid,it gives you wings,the invisible feathers whose flight reaches right upto the seventh sky.

Maria was my next-door neighbour, our families knew each other for long, we were good friends our stars seemed to be faultless, smiles all along those where the days I lived. Maria had no flaws she was too perfect my mom liked her my dad wished for a kid like her,infact when dad used to be out of the station she used come over and sleep with mom. Many of my breakfasts were prepared by her,in the language of men she was the perfect wife material, for a woman like her war in the lands of men was a sure thing. 

My only flaw was I was too shy  even for my own good, in my thoughts i had already made her my lifetime companion, she was supposed to be the daughter in law of our house. Everytime I saw her i would turn my eyes, not neglecting her but could not take charge of my hearts pace it used to go erratic. That feeling of being bonded to her without any visible strings,the feeling of being owned, the emotion of growing old with her had already made home in my heart but the house with many windows carry more tears.

My father had told me a story long back and i still remember its final lines,

At the gates of heaven moon asked,"why you made me to live in darkness?"

"So that in silence you can hear the whispers of repentance"came the reply.

Time is the most important factor in all the relationships,whether it is marriage or funeral you have to be on time, apologies at times don't compensate for arriving late and in love even the blink of an eye makes ages their home and if something was against me it was the dimensions of time,the teenage story had to find a beginning or its end was sure and i had no other to blame except the shy me.

As my time at college was coming to an end, i thought of telling her about my feelings for her, but my tongue failed to keep the promise of uttering so i wrote a letter. There were not many romantic lines but just a letter that expressed my feeling perfectly.

DEAR MARIA

         I AM NOT MUCH OF A WRITER, TIMELESS TIMES I WROTE A LETTER ONLY TO LET THOSE UNSAID WORDS SPEAK BUT I HAVE NO OTHER OPTION TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS SO I AM PENNING THEM DOWN,I WISH TO MEET YOU UNDER THE GAZE OF THE MOONLIGHT ....I KNOW I AM NOT GOOD AT SINGING BUT I WILL GIVE IT A TRY.....I KNOW YOU MIGHT NOT AGREE TO MEET BUT WHAT GOOD IS LIFE IF I WON'T INVITE TROUBLE ...I KNOW IT IS HARD TO FALL FOR A STRANGER BUT MY LOVE WILL NEVER BEG FOR YOUR APPROVAL I WILL WAIT TILL THE MOON GIVES ME COMPANY FOR WHO KNOWS THE NEW SUN SUN WONT BE THE LAST.......

                                                                                                                                                            yours truly

                                                                                                                                                        A HALF WRITER