Waterlily

Nine

Forty one, Forty two, the first set of bubbles escaped my inflamed nostrils. One by one I felt them rise past my face towards the distant surface. 

After spending another half hour internally debating it, I finally plucked up the courage and retrieved my phone from the floor. My stomach was in knots, like I was about to do a high dive but all I was doing was sending a text message. To be honest I'd rather have the high dive. 

"Hey Eric, It's Lily! The girl from the corner, remember?"

"How could I forget? How are you, darling?" His reply was instant which further knotted my stomach with glee. It was like a game of cats cradle, but instead of string it was my intestines. 'Darling', Oh, he was like a 1920's gentleman.

" I'm really good thanks. Yourself?" I chose not to mention the aching sensation that radiated from my arse cheek from the earlier fall, it wasn't exactly top tip for winning over your perfect man. 

"Glad to here it. Yeah, I'm great. I'm sorry doll but I've got to go take care of some stuff. I'll see you in class, Lily from the corner!" 

 "No problem, See you then." and just like that, the conversation was over before it got a chance to begin. My stomach un-knotted like a magic trick and I was just filled with a strangely self fulfilling buzz. I had made the first move and he'd actually spoke to me. 

I dreamt of him again that night. This time we lived on a northern sea pier in a sunny district, He was a fisher and I was scuba diving instructor. I was teaching a small group of tourists the basics, y'know the whole, "don't inhale the water because you'll probably die" type stuff. Just as I took the group into the water, Eric drove past me and right up onto the beach. He had a net full of salmon and he smiled at me, as he made his way to the slaughter house. 

I woke up before my alarm so I could search for the perfect outfit. The morning sun highlighted my wardrobe through the fully opened blind.I searched frantically, throwing dirty jeans around my room and slowly being buried alive by baggy t-shirts. I wanted something extraordinary today, I wanted Eric's tongue to roll onto the desk in amazement as I strutted into the class. I wanted to feel beautiful. Unfortunately, That wasn't what my wardrobe wanted. It was times like this I regret the shopping trips with my mother, where I had told her I'd rather die than wear a pretty hipster dress. Giving up, I threw on a plain cream vest, overlay-ed with a baggy red tartan shirt, left unfastened, and finally I straddled into a pair of light denim shorts. I didn't look in the mirror because I was scared of what would look back. I didn't want to see my manly shoulders or my chunky thighs. I just pretended I was Kate Moss as I waltzed out of the front door. 

 When I got to the class only a minority of students had arrived. Byrony, A pretty girl who's father ran a major taxing firm. Gerard, a painfully unattractive boy, inside and out but he had enough money to make people forget that, and a handful of nerds sat readily at the front of the class. I inhaled deeply before I did the walk to my desk. I could feel Byrony and Gerard examine me, picking out my flaws and memorising them so they could bitch about me later. Today however, I didn't care. I was a strong independent woman and I didn't need anyone's approval, I internally chanted! I was going to have a great day. I lifted my head high as I raised my foot and took my first step, then the second, the the third, then the floor. The disadvantage of walking with your head high is the fact you're vision of the ground is immediately obstructed. A satchel had managed to wraps itself around my legs, sending me to my hands and knee's. Bryony's obnoxious laugh and Gerard's animalistic grunts and remarks about "having a nice trip" seized the room, Even a few of the smart, nice kids were letting out a few giggles. Looking up, I saw the girl from the lunch hall glaring down at me with the same eye's as before. I untangled myself from her accessorie and leaped back to my feet. 

"Er, I'm sorry. I didn't see it there...I didn't mean to....I just...Here "  I picked up the bag and stretched it towards her. She made no move to accept it so I sat it down back on the floor awkwardly. She stared at me intensely as I waited for her to reply to my frail attempt of an apology. She didn't. In defeat I marched back to my chair. My head no longer high. I'd been demoted from my imaginary Kate Moss status in a matter of seconds. By the time I'd reached my chair, It was like it'd never happened. We all just sat in silence waiting for Mrs Walsh to arrive and pretend to teach.