Before I Ever Met You: A Euphoria Book~(Nate and Jules)

7: I Am Not What You Percieve To Me

NATE

Some people think that when you meet someone that you want to spend the rest of your life, it should be in some perfect place and in some wonderful moment in time with no bullshit to come in and fuck it up. Because goddamnit it's your moment.

Apparently, that's never happened to me before.

When I met Maddy, it was really special, and there were some sparks, but here recently as the relationship has progressed the sparks keep flying off and starting fires all around us.

The other night was proof enough that we were like gasoline to fire. It literally only took one fucking spark before the flames went up, and no matter how many times the water got poured on it the flames came back in another situation, this time a little higher then before.

I was like a fly to a bug zapper in the most grossest and most authentic explanation of my situation. I was drawn in by her charms and by the genuine good that seemed to reside within her, and then at a flip of a switch she'd seem to change personalities. It was very disturbing yet alluring all at once to me, and I didn't really have the common sense to break free if you ask me.

However, since the other night I've been thinking a lot about this other girl I've been talking to online. I mean, we're just friends and nothings obviously happened because I don't believe in cheating, but it has been nice to have some feminine attention that didn't require me to have to endure the consequences of trying to show intense affection.

Platonicism and women have never mixed well with me. I've tried to be friends with girls before, but there are two possible outcomes that come from that: either 1). She falls in love with a dude who doesn't like her talking to other dudes or 2). She falls in love with you and you don't reciprocate. Maddy had been the sole woman in my life since sixth grade because she had the power to scare men and women both while at the same time genuinely being a sweet, loving person....somewhere deep inside.

Also, I couldn't stop thinking about the other night with Jules on the dance floor. She was so drunk....she probably had no recollection of what the fuck happened. I did, though, somewhat.

I liked flirting with her, I liked how she laughed like everything was funny yet having a genuine smile on her face at the same time like she was truly happy. It was really hard not to like her; and even if the sole intention of me flirting was to make a point to piss off Maddy, it worked in other ways as well.

It was hard to concentrate on anything in school with the thoughts of Jules running in my head. They just wouldn't leave me alone, even when I tried to drown them
in other things....but I also knew something about her just by the looks of her that sort of snapped me back to reality every time my mind strayed.

I knew she wasn't a real girl...and that's not to be transphobic or whatever. I just knew she wasn't like other girls, and that was honestly one of the most attractive qualities about her. I liked that she was a rare creature of beauty, an object that seemed so sacred and set apart from the normalcy around me.

Who knew unattainability could be so attractive?

JULES

My phone was blowing up nonstop the night after the party.

The snapchats, the texts and calls from my friends and from random numbers were coming through the wavelength, yet not a word from Nate. Not that I cared or even wanted his number...logically speaking anyways.

There's nothing quite like being in your room, alone.

On your bed.

Staring up at the ceiling from under the covers.