Wonderland: fell down a rabbit hole, you held on tight to me ('cause...

Chapter 1: i'm tired of loving from afar, never being where you are

As Mount Wundagore fell, Wanda thought that this was a fitting end. For once, she would be allowed to rest, finally allowed to stop suffering, and it would be doing a good thing. Even if she had turned into a monster, one made of loss, pain and grief, she would now forever go down as someone who made the right choice in the end. She always did, but she had never before done anything as terrible as hunting down a child through the multiverse, and hurt so many innocent people in her pursuit.

She hated her life, if she was being honest. From the moment that Stark missile hit, her entire life had been one shitshow after the other. The fear that she had lived in for those two days–48 hours, 26 minutes, 20 seconds–with Pietro's shaking arm around her small body, as they stared at the thing that could potentially kill them, as it killed their parents. But at least she had Pietro.

Then the living in the streets, the horrifying experience of never knowing if they would eat that night, or what would happen to them in the long term, because they didn't even know what they were doing short term. It was small miracles that led to them finding a place to stay, finding the right people, and learning how to pickpocket just to have something to buy some food and clothes.

Food, Pietro got the most of, because he was the bigger one and he always had the faster appetite, and needed the most energy, he was bigger and so he needed more energy and sustenance and they both knew that, even on the days when he tried to be noble and have fair shares of food. There was also the fact that Wanda preferred to steal–and cook–food rather than eat it, because most of the people they stole food from deserved it, and were often mean to them, or her, and it was fun for her to steal and Wanda never really had an appetite most days...

Or at least that's what he told him to rid him of his guilt, but every fucking day, she was starving and craving food, and it was such a fucking torture to see people eat, even Pietro, and not have food herself. It was torture as acid burned in her stomach, which begged to have some food, and it was torture to have to tear her eyes away and pretend she wasn't in pain and hoping that the next steal, they get more food... but she told herself it was alright, because that was just the sort of hell they lived in

Clothes, she got more of, because Pietro did burn through his clothes, but he liked his clothes, enough to stay in them longer, enough to not want to buy–steal–new clothes for himself at every opportunity he could, and there were many opportunities, because there were far more men's clothing just out there than there was clothing for women that wasn't slutty, clothing that wouldn't put a target on Wanda's back. He was okay with stealing clothes for her, because as a man, he didn't care that much about his appearance...

Or so he would tell her to assuage her guilt, but he forgot that, even before her powers, she knew just how to read him, and could see the resentment that slowly built up over time and appeared every time Wanda got to try on new clothes, because it mirrored the resentment that she knew was in her eyes every time he ate more than she did, but that was alright, they would both tell themselves, they still loved each other and that was just the sort of hell they were in.

At least they had each other.

Then came the experiments. After a protest, she still remembered the day, they had been encouraged to join this project, to better Sokovia, help something bigger than themselves by being better than themselves–only a select few people wanted to join in by then, namely a bunch of random people, and Pietro because he had always wanted a chance to help and be a hero and be something bigger than himself, a hero, along with someone she had befriended for a short while, Darla, who joined because it seemed 'fun'–and then they had gone on to ask everyone to ask their friends to join and the killer part of their offer; free food, shelter, and clothes, that's when Wanda jumped at the chance because it sounded like paradise, and in the way they were going, they only needed one half of a year for hers and Pietro's long-growing resentment to start really showing and causing damage to their long-lasting relationship, in the long-term and short-term way.