Wonderland: fell down a rabbit hole, you held on tight to me ('cause...

Chapter 4: and life was never worse, but never better

So, Pietro had seen her heal her gunshot wounds, and change out of her Scarlet Witch clothes–-including the wimple/crown–-but wasn't that great that he was alive long enough to see it?

Yeah, no. There was no deluding herself out of this mess.

"Later." She promises him, and moves him to the side, to keep protecting the core.

What even was the point of telling him to not come get her until everyone was on the boat, and not before, if he was going to go ahead, and get her before everyone was on the boat anyway? She knows it was her fault, for being too focused on him, for not protecting herself, for getting cocky because she was strong enough to take all versions of Ultron down single-handedly, but still, she's annoyed at the way things turned out nonetheless.

The only silver lining is that Pietro is alive, and she's not the one who had to feel the phantom pain, and their bond is still there.

Unfortunately, that also means Pietro's here to interrogate her about the things that he saw, and she had to feel real bullets instead of phantom ones, and their bond is being overloaded with a truly unsurprising amount of bewilderment and if 'What the fuck' was a feeling, astonishment, maybe? No, not quite.

He opens his mouth to argue, but she fires at an Ultron, and makes it look like she's struggling, and trying to focus and (please go away, Pietro). So he huffs, and goes right back into the fight.

'Oh my god, that actually worked., she thinks in relief. She will still kill Ultron later on, for almost killing her brother, but right now, she feels grateful that he's keeping him away from her, and therefore the questions can wait.

She knows Pietro should know, and she knows she will tell Pietro. They never really keep secrets from each other. But still, she doesn't look forward to having to explain to him what happened, considering she isn't even fully sure herself.

( 'And' , her mind whispers to her, 'You're afraid he'll see you for the monster that you are and you'll lose him anyway.' )

Her mouth suddenly feels dry, and she focuses on finding Ultron to kill him, while Pietro runs around, doing what he does, safe and alive, and here with her (for now). Her mind is a mess, and despite the small five-ten minutes of peace that she gets, and how much she's been bored with everyone's speeches, and having to repeat the past exactly as it happened, she hasn't had a break since she got back to this time.

She forgot how fast everything happened. Past her had been nearly overwhelmed. Now, she just wanted a moment to go to sleep, because she was far past overwhelmed. Her whole life was overwhelming, so that wasn't new. But she had her brother, she had a reason to feel safe, and she finally had enough power to change anything or anyone she wanted to, and she wanted to curl up, cuddle her brother, and go to sleep, finally feeling safe and at peace for once. Just once, and wake up, still at peace, and not at war with general life. She wants everything with Ultron to just end already. She needs to feel safe, and none of this is giving her the time to feel safe.

She tires, again, of fighting constantly.

As she walks by a large boulder, she briefly considers just sitting there until everyone was done fighting. She shakes her head and keeps walking, knowing that Pietro makes rounds, because he knows Sokovia better than any of the Avengers walking all around, and if he saw her just sitting there, he would be concerned and unhappy with her lazing around.

Her bones feel weary, and her mind is tired from all the emotional strain, and the confusion on where she was and whether it was real, and her body is perfectly fine, she knows, but it also feels tired and heavier, at the same time.