Wonderland: fell down a rabbit hole, you held on tight to me ('cause...

Chapter 13: in silent screams, and wildest dreams

Summary:
- Wanda fuckboy (?)
- Wanda flirting with Nat
- Nat flirting with Wanda?
- Pietro reacting to Ep. 2 of WandaVision
- Wanda and Nat flirting, like x3
- I have no idea what happened at this chapter at this point, it's 3AM and this chapter is so long.

Warning: this is like 30.1k, so it's the longest chapter of Wonderland so far

and also,

Disclaimer: there's a TW here, Wanda considering suicide. There's also a TW in the chapter itself, so you won't accidentally read it, I hope. I just wanted to warn the people out there who might get triggered by it.

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So, last chapter, after my note.

When last I uploaded a chapter, I asked for comments and HOLY SHIT did @nobodygreek deliver! I honestly love that so much. Y'all are the sweetest readers I've ever had.

That did mean I got carried away, yes.

Now, that aside, this is, again, 30.1k, excluding the next coming chapters, so I hope it gives y'all a lot to enjoy for a decent amount of time, because I won't be writing for a while. Just kind of not in the right headspace.

And, so, I apologize for the long wait, and long note; I hope you enjoy the chapter.

(This note has been changed to fit the context of Wattpad vers of interaction. This note makes more sense in the original).

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When the lights are off, and you're surrounded by hundreds of other people on the dance floor, Wanda thinks, is the only time that being around a happy crowd is not isolating, but comforting. Because although their stray thoughts nearly attack her mind, powered by the heaven liquid that's called alcohol, she can tell that there are so many people in this room, in this club that is just like her .

Can feel their emotions the same way the people at Westview must have felt hers. And the soul-crushing grief, regret, and pain, the need to forget--- it's all there. And it feels like being inside her own mind. Except, unlike then, here and now, she can just focus on a different person's emotions, someone genuinely happy, someone who hasn't had a hard life.

And then get high off of their ecstasy. It's the healthiest drug, she thinks, other people's happiness.

Then again, she has listened to Heathers, and maybe slushies can compare to healthiest drug. It's really just ice and...whatever flavours it. But then again, that is chemicals, and it costs money.

Going to parties and dressing up costs money too, her mind reminds.

The beat drops down on its bass, and all thoughts banish from her mind. She's partying. There's no reason to be thinking right now. Thinking's only ever brought pain, thinking's only ever made her unsure of how much she deserves, thinking's only ever solidified the fact that she was a monster, and that it wasn't her fault, and that it was all her fault. All her fault. All her fault. All her fault. All her fault. Her bad luck killed her parents. Her bad luck killed Pietro. Her bad luck killed Vision. Her bad choices killed her kids. Her only good choice was trying to rid the world of herself.

But Pietro wasn't dead.

And god , thoughts. Again. She chuckled out loud. She really needed to learn to stop that.

She loses herself in the most pleasant way---any way would be pleasant, her mind is a death trap she's not very keen on staying in for a moment longer if she didn't need to---as she raises her hands, jumps and dances to the beast, she ruffles her hair, so carefully styled this very morning, ("Don't burn my hair!" "I don't know how to do curls, Wan!" "What?! You couldn't have told me that before starting?!" "I THOUGHT YOU KNEW!?!?!" Pietro shrieked. "WHEN WOULD I EVER CURL ANYONE'S HAIR?! MINE'S LIKE TWO INCHES LONG!" "GIRLFRIENDS, PIETRO! YOU'VE HAD GIRLFRIENDS!" "Why is your first assumption with me and my girlfriends that I styled their hair?!" "BECAUSE I DID IT WITH MY BOYFRIENDS!" "I'm not you!" "You're my twin, close enough--- PIETRO, my hair! My hair! It's smoking! You burned my hair!" "UH-- DO I THROW WATER AT YOU?!" "-Don't you fucking dare, I spent two hours putting on this makeup. I will murder you.").