Wonderland: fell down a rabbit hole, you held on tight to me ('cause...

Chapter 8: i remember thinking i had you

When she lived in her cabin, in solitary, she lasted half a year before she really started to believe in the Darkhold. She still read it, mostly the part about her, to remind herself of how dangerous she is, and to strengthen the resolve she already had to not use her powers, even if she was alone, just to make sure she wouldn't ever hurt anyone. She spent about half a year living her life trying to ignore the raw power thrumming behind her skin, and trying to live like a normal recluse. She focused on her gardening, on reading, on reflecting, and picking up all sorts of new hobbies. She spent half a year pretending she was a normal person, even if it was to no one else but her.

Half a year, ignoring and being terrified of a vital part of herself, hiding herself from herself. It took a toll on her, and her powers started to go haywire after half a year.

Now, safe and in hers and her brother's room, she feels so safe and supported that she can't even think of trying to hide her powers, not when watching him try to catch an energy ball to have it lift him up. During their lazy discussions about her powers, for the fifth time in three weeks, while they cuddled their pets—well, Pietro tried to cuddle Mister Diddles, but Diddles bit him because he started to get too clingy—and watched more episodes of 2 Broke Girls (they were currently in Episode 7, and that was only because when it was Pietro's TV hour, he watched 2-3 hour movies, and Wanda didn't care enough to stop him, because Pietro didn't have bad taste in movies), she mentioned a particular fact that she realized about her energy spheres while living alone.

"My energy spheres can lift a whole person up, you know?" She said, "It can carry a lot of weight, even if I'm not paying attention to it, and I can make it just roam around. I did it during the night, so there would be some light, and I grabbed one when it came close to me out of reflex, while it was floating up, and I started to get lifted. It's like floating in water with the help of a ball, flying, but like a game, and with a lot less concentration needed from my side."

Pietro had stared at her like she had just told her the secrets of the world—which was hilarious to her, considering he didn't even stare at her like this when she had told him she was the Scarlet Witch, or her extensive list of powers, and only came close to staring at her like that when she mentioned that he got food because of her reality manipulation abilities—and excitedly said--

"Can you make a bunch of lasting energy spheres then? Float them all around the room?"

Wanda raised her brow, but she didn't question it, and moved her hands together, her hands flickering as Chaos Magic was called to the centre of her hands, and formed an energy sphere, and she let go of it, like releasing a dove or a bubble into the air, and watches as it floats around without her help.

Pietro excitedly reaches out to touch it, but Wanda stops him, just right before his skin makes contact with the literal raw magic energy sphere. "Don't do that!" She says. "It's different if I touch it--it's part of me--but I wouldn't know it would affect you, so don't just go touching it out of nowhere like that, do you know this could hurt you-"

Pietro quiets her with a look. "I trust you, Wanda." He says, and it stuns Wanda, just how much he doesn't question or fear her, how sure he is that she will never hurt him, and that he will be fine even if he does something stupid like touching a ball of energy that she formed. She's never had that. Not even Vision. Vision knew she was dangerous, but he looked at her powers as a part of her that wouldn't hurt him, because he was strong too. He was unafraid because he had courage and power. Pietro sat before her, unafraid, because of trust and such a strong belief in her that it brought tears to her eyes. "I love you, of course I trust you."

She feels her heart squeeze, and that block in her throat is back, but this time it doesn't seem so bad, just rendered her speechless while she tries to work a way around it, and find the words that she doubts she could ever find in this lifetime, to express just how loved and understood she felt upon hearing those three words. And this feels like one of those things that people say they've been starved of their whole lives. His genuine trust and understanding of her heals something broken inside her, and that part of her—she believes people call it 'the inner child'—feels happy, and giddy, and lost all at the same time. She hasn't experienced this in so long, the knowledge on how to react is lost on her.