Worlds Apart | Ssamkkura

2: A New Beginning

Chaewon POV

Trigger warning: suicide attempt

You realize that what you did was selfish. You let Minju go when all she wanted was to be with you, but you took that away from her. How pathetic is that?

For you to do something that pains her so out of your own selfishness is something you never imagined carrying out. No– you were supposed to be with her, you were supposed to love her, and yet you chose to "protect" her.

Maybe it was your selfishness that led to you floating in the coldness that is space, alive. In pain, but alive.

Massive boulders float all around you, debris from every town and city in Paridiy along with it. Nothing remains no matter where you look. To your left, wood, stone, dirt. On your right, more wood, stone, and dirt. Looking down, you see your sweater is covered in dust and has lost half a sleeve, your shirt has small rips, and your cargos are covered in dirt. Looking above, you have to put a hand over your mouth to prevent yourself from vomiting. Bodies upon bodies. With blood stained clothes, they float lifelessly.

Survivors' guilt is the best way to word what you're feeling, but it doesn't explain it well enough. Then, there's that burning hatred you feel for Raeix, and you don't know how to get rid of it.

Everywhere you look is lifeless. That's what it looks like, at least. You're not sure how anyone could survive such destruction like this. You're not even sure of how you survived.

Perhaps it is karma from your selfishness that Minju is dead because of you. While it hurts, you take a breath out to keep your composure, except it doesn't work. Why is there a need to keep yourself composed, when there is no one around to judge?

Tears fall relentlessly, and you've lost count on the amount of times you've cried today. Your lips quiver, and all in your mind is Minju. Your girlfriend, your lover.

Why, universe? Why did you have to take away your love? Why did you take her away when you were trying to let her live? Why is it not you that is dying in the frigidness of space?

You sob, but you can't hear a sound. After all, sounds are nonexistent in the cosmos.

You cover your eyes, hating the scene in front of you. You can't look at your home, you can't look at your people, even if they once hated you.

Your planet, your home. It was all taken from you within a blink of an eye. Your friends, your love, gone in an instant.

Your love.

Tears continue falling as your hands clench into fists. You're angry. For what reason did the Raeixans do this to your home? Did they feel so entitled to do this? Even if they felt that, it still doesn't explain why. Did Paridians trouble Raeixans that much? Impossible, for Paridians are forbidden from entering Raeix's atmosphere.

Why, Raeix? Did the universe tell you to do it? Did the galaxy? What did Andromeda tell you? Did she tell you to paint the solar system in blood? Did she justify mass murder?

Did they tell you to keep you alive?

You can't. Your breath hitches, and you hold out your hand, pointing it towards yourself. You sob, and tears don't stop falling. Then, you start to do it.

Serapha flows into your skin and enters your lungs. It pulls away the air remaining in it, and you can feel your head begin to get heavy. Black spots impair your vision, and you can feel your thoughts begin to become incoherent.

Universe, you took away Minju. Raeix, you took away Minju.

Now you will take away yourself.

But then you stop, because that's when you see it. That oh so familiar white and gold flag plastered onto whatever metal you couldn't care less to identify. Your hand drops, and air somehow makes its way back into your lungs.