Worlds Apart | Ssamkkura

11: The Past and Present

Chaewon POV

On a lone asteroid, you kneel. Alone in the cold that is the cosmos. You've been here before, but it wasn't nearly as cold as it was now. Maybe it spared you its frost the first time, or maybe it's because you don't have the shock of losing everything there to protect you from said cold.

This asteroid isn't big at all, but you have never torn something of this size apart before, and that is what you were here to test. Granted, you know you're one of the many weaker seraphs, but you thought with your new power it would be enough.

You feel the absence of your venom in your veins, It's craving for life dormant.

You've tried the usual process that brings the venom alive, the remembrance of your life before Raeix, your friends, Minju, but nothing. You tried bringing forward the strong hatred you have for Raeix, how they took everything with the snap of their fingers, as if it was nothing, but the venom just doesn't come forward. It stays hidden, lingering deep within you.

A groan, and you bury your head in your hands. What's wrong with you? Why won't your powers work? They were working yesterday, so what about today?

You managed to take the life of a hill you found by the fields you practice in. You felt the life of the plants flowing throughout your body, and while you want to focus on how you hate to admit that it felt nice, you can only think about how you are suddenly blocked from using your newfound power.

Slamming your palms onto the surface of the asteroid, dust lifts from the ground and floats. You're frustrated. How could this not work? You need it to work so you can be sure that you are able to accomplish what you are here for, and it suddenly refuses to work now? Of all times?

You take a deep inhale, one in an attempt to calm yourself, but it does nothing. Instead, tears are brought to your eyes.

Everything unexpectedly feels real. Too real.

Reality is finally starting to sink in. You are lying to Sakura, you're using her, you're going to take everything from her. She does not deserve that at all, especially after everything she's been through. The toying and mind games the Council play on her is enough, she does not need a mistrustful person in her life. No, she deserves so much more.

And yet you can't seem to stay away. You continue to crawl into her arms when she's near, you fall asleep next to her, you reside in her home. You accept her comfort as if it is any other thing in the universe.

A sob escapes your lips. You continue to return to her home after you practice with your power, deceiving her with your words and lies. You haven't even backed down after she discovered the dust on your face after her inauguration. The dust that was directly a result of the death of another flower you practiced on.

You continue to spew lies, telling her that you've gone out for air, you've gone on a walk, that you were doing anything but planning the end of her planet, and the guilt... the guilt has come to be enough for you to stop.

It has been tempting, stopping your cause and living a normal life with Sakura on Raeix, but even thinking about it does not sound right to you.

Having a normal life? On Raeix?

Venom seeps into your veins, crashing in strong waves and sending a rush of adrenaline throughout your body.

Heavy breaths in, and the venom spreads to your arms and legs. You didn't want the source of your venom to be the guilt of your actions. It only proves that you are aware that what you're doing is wrong, that you don't deserve to be in Sakura's life, that you should stop.