Memories Of Paris

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐲

"Suis-je pathétique?" (Am I pathetic?)

Maybe asking that from his ex-husband wasn't the smartest thing in the world but for his excuse, he wasn't capable to think straight anymore. And by that, he meant that he got very, very drunk after embarrassing himself with Alex.

He couldn't help it. After spending the day grieving Cece, he was already feeling shit and then that conversation with Alex happened. Suddenly he was full of feelings and thoughts which none of them were positive.

And the more he thought about what he had said yesterday, the more pathetic he started to feel about himself. They had broken up a year ago and Alex had moved on to a new, beautiful girlfriend with a long skinny legs. How had it must feel to listen to his ex-boyfriend complain about life when he probably couldn't care a less anymore?

A couple of hours later he was already going through his phone numbers and found Leo's number. Without a second thought, he pressed call and waited for an answer. This wasn't the smartest idea but he needed to talk with someone and since he couldn't talk with Alex, he was the second option.

"Quoi? C'est toi Gabe? Es-tu ivre? Vous ne buvez jamais!" (What? Is this you, Gabe? Are you drunk? You don't even drink!) Leo ignored his question which was probably only a good thing.

Now he was judging him? He used to drink non-stop every day over a year before finally doing something about it and now he was judging the one time he was drunk?

Where was all this when Gabriel had begged for him to get help for his drinking and depression and he ended up being slapped in the face? Where was this concern over his well-being when he was crying every night himself to sleep? Or when he took care of their house and all the financials because Leo got fired?

Starting to get annoyed, Gabriel did the one thing he hated the most and started a fight. On the phone. With his ex-husband. "Ouais, et alors? Pourquoi est-ce que je ne peux pas m'amuser juste pour une nuit et tout oublier? Vous avez fait la même chose!" (Yeah, so what? Why can't I have fun just for one night and forget about everything? You did the same!)

Here he was, using his dangerous addiction that he had been trying to heal from against him... That wasn't Gabriel. In the past he never would have said such a thing but for some reason his drunk self didn't care about Leo's feelings.

Instead of answering, his ex-husband just stayed quiet and waited for... him to continue talking? Open up about his feelings? Regretting this call and everything else he had ever done, Gabriel went to lay on the couch and drank the last of his vodka. An old alcoholic was judging him. How fucking fantastic.

"Écoutez-moi. Tout d'abord, rangez votre boisson et allez boire de l'eau. Tu ne devrais pas boire. Et puis parlez-moi. Est-ce à cause de Cece?" (Listen to me. First, put it away and go drink some water. You shouldn't be drinking. And then talk to me. Is this because of Cece?)

"Tu lui as rendu visite aujourd'hui? Tôt le matin?" (Did you visit her today? Early in the morning?) Gabriel asked, heart filling with pain and memories.

"Oui. J'ai failli t'appeler pour te demander si tu voulais venir avec moi mais..." (Yes. I almost called you to ask if you wanted to come with me but...)

But he had thrown Leo out of his life like he was yesterday's trash. But he couldn't call him anymore even about visiting their dead daughter together. But it was his fault that they were back to being strangers after agreeing to be friends just because Alex felt uncomfortable.

"J'y suis allé avec Élle," (I went there with Élle) he explained because he didn't know what else to say. He didn't even know why he had called Leo in the first place. What exactly had he hoped to get from this conversation?