Definitely, Maybe, Sometimes. | ✔️ COMPLETED

Chapter Eight

a/n - I've written, deleted, re-written, deleted, and re-written this chapter. I'm sorry about it. It's a mess.

A big group of us are dancing the club. I've lost count of how many drinks I've had, but I can tell you exactly where Jordan is stood. Opposite me. On the other side of the giant circle we're all dancing in. Our eyes keep catching, but as soon as they do, we look away. Which is ridiculous, because if Jordan Nickleson wants to look at me, I really, really, want to know about it.

Everyone looks a bit insane, like a fluorescent rainbow has thrown up over us. The U.V face-paint is glowing. Even Lucinda, the shy girl from our block, is rocking bright orange dots spread down her cheekbones. Though, she is sort of stood to the side like being in the club is extremely painful for her.

There's only one person in the whole group who isn't dressed up, and he keeps making a beeline straight for me. Reign and Kerry are artfully manoeuvring it so he's pressed as close to me as possible. He's tall, blonde hair, stubble along his cheek. I suppose he's classically good looking, something about him oozes wealth. Maybe it's the blue, muscle-hugging Ralph Lauren polo top, or the snotty look on his face.

He keeps dancing closer and closer, looking down at me with a weird smile. Maybe it's not meant to be snotty, maybe it's meant to be sexy? Whatever it is, it's not working.

"ANDREW!" He shouts over the music.

Politely, I say, "Autumn."

He points to his ear, "What?"

"Autumn!" I say louder.

He looks at me and shakes his head, pointing to his ear again.

"AUTUMN!" I scream, causing a couple of people to look at us.

He grins, "NICE TO MEET YOU, ANNA."

I can't even be bothered to correct him, I just give him a polite smile.

Reign and Kerry are doing that thing where they're trying to look like they're not paying attention, but they're too rigid, half-dancing and their eyes keep turning to quickly glance at me, checking I'm actually talking to him. 

When Reign notices me looking at her, she gives me a big grin and thumbs up. A seal of approval. They think he's hot. I think he's not Jordan.

The blonde boy, Andrew, steps so I'm looking at him again. I can't hear a word he's saying so I just shake my head and point to my ear. In, what some might say is bold but I personally think is a bit too brazen of a move - Andrew grabs my hand and drags me to the bar where the music is lower.

"Want a drink?" He asks, a cocky grin on his face.

I pull my hand from him, a little bit annoyed, and say, "No. I'm okay thank you."

"Oh, go on." He presses. "What's that you're drinking there?"

"Er," I look down at my nearly empty glass. "A vodka-coke?"

He clicks his fingers at the bar staff which makes me wince. "Can I get two double vodka-cokes?"

"It's really okay," I rush out. "I can get my own drink."

"Nonsense." He tuts, leaning one elbow on the bar and looking at me. "A girl like you shouldn't ever have to buy her own drinks."

"Er," I sort of blush, but not in a, oh-my-God-he's-so-fit, way. More of a, I-have-never-been-so-uncomfortable, way.

"So, Anna. What are you studying?"

"Linguistics. By the way, my name is-"

"Ah, good at languages are you?" He cuts me off and doesn't wait for me to respond. "I'm second year. Me and my friends are renting one of the best houses near campus. Yeah, one of my friends, Kyle - he's over there, his dad owns a bar in London, so he bought this really cool three floored house for us to live in. It's got this huge kitchen and every room has it's own en-suite. I can say this to you 'cause I feel like you're one of us."

"One of...?"

"Us. You know."

I shake my head. "Sorry, you've lost me a bit?"

"It's okay. We don't need to say it. Anyway, you're welcome to come back to mine tonight if you want."

"I'm sorry-"

"Ah, look. Here's your drink."

He picks it from the bar and goes to hand it to me, then pulls it back so I can't reach. I look at it for a moment, then look at him, he's holding it in the air with a smirk on his face, waiting for me to grab it. This whole thing is getting a bit weird. Unsure what to do, I reach for it again only as my arm stretches out, his face sort of rushes at me.

He kisses me.

I'm too shocked to even move away. I just stand there whilst his lips move against my still ones. It's not until his tongue forces its way into my mouth that I lurch away from him.

"Whats-a-matter?" He asks, wrapping his free hand around my neck and pulling me against him. "You're not frigid or something, are you?"

"Oh my god," I push against him. "Get off me, you weirdo."

His whole demeanour changes, "Alright, you stuck up cow. I just bought you a drink. On second thoughts-" he snatches the drink from me, gives me a dirty look, and storms away.

Bewildered, confused, and absolutely horrified, I turn back to the bar - catching eyes with Jordan, who is on the other side and in perfect view of whatever that was. I can totally see how it will have looked to him, like I went to the bar with the creep and kissed him.

He looks furious. More than furious. He looks hurt.

"Shit." I mutter, rushing around to him. Just as I reach him he sort of turns to me, disappointment all over him.

"It's okay." He says.

"No, wait-"

"Honestly," He gives me a small smile. "You said friends, right? I get it now. I was hoping-." He cuts himself off with a small shake of his head. "It doesn't matter, it's okay. I'm gonna go back to the dance floor. You... do whatever you need to do."

"No, Jordan." I start. "Please, this can easily be-"

"Honestly, Autumn. You don't owe me anything."

Then he walks off, not letting me say anymore. I hate that. I've always hated that. Ninety-percent of problems can be resolved if people were allowed to say what they thought without being cut off or shut down. If he would just let me explain, he'd understand. But I don't get a chance because he heads into the crowd and it swallows him up.

I suddenly feel tearful. The kiss caught me off guard - I feel violated.  Everything was going well. This whole week has been one of the best I've ever had. Now it's ruined by some twat in a polo-top and Jordan refusing to listen.

I take a deep breath and turn towards the bar, ordering myself another drink. I down it and head to the toilet, splashing water on my face and locking myself in a cubicle.

I scroll through Instagram. All my old friends from school are there, smiling up with their new friends in their new Uni's. Their lives just slotting into place. Even Lauren is smiling on a beach in Bali, sat on the lap of a boy, a group of people around her with their arms in the air - all grinning and self-assured.

Here I am, sat on a toilet, having had someones tongue forced into my mouth and the boy I like vanish.

Maybe I'm just drunk. Maybe this pity-party is a bit extreme.

I stand up and head back out to the dance floor. The night is getting a bit ahead of itself. I can fix this. I can sort it out.

Only when I look at the dance floor everyone I know is gone. I don't see a familiar face anywhere. Not Reign, nor Kerry, Rory's ginger hair and blue tips aren't weaving through the crowd. Jordan isn't there either, and my Jordan-radar isn't pinging. They've all gone, moved on to the next bar.

They've just left me here.

If the night couldn't get any worse, I literally burst into tears in the middle of the dance floor.